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numinous way

One Viator Among So Many

This online journal that is mine has various purposes and I decided to outline them here so my readers are not confused about my intentions or the nature of my research and practical experiences… This wordpress is primarily about self-honesty, authenticity and the quest for knowledge from a philosophico-occult perspective. I consider myself as both a student and a practitioner, nothing more. My conclusions are as fallible and juvenile (νήπιος) as they can be but they remain parallelic to my spiritual path and my scholarly research…

It is also equally a tribute to the post 2012 conclusions of David Myatt, embodied in his tragically unpopular; Numinous Way now revised as the philosophy of pathei mathos, which is a rejection of extremism but also a cosmic perspective which emphasis is on love, compassion, friendship, peace, the wordless, humility and tempering the human hubris. This latest perspective of his only arose after a lifelong Pathei Mathos (πάθει μάθος )…

Thus, the “Philosophy” aspect of this online journal are my analytical conclusions concerning the limits of human made worlds and their inability to presence or reflect the numinous because of our limited set of tools (language, perception, reason). Instead, such worlds are created out of logos and considered to be absolutes (i.e. religion, ism, concepts, ideals) by most beings which in turn, create hubris (ὕϐρις) and suffering out of sheer ignorance. In this regard, my philosophical conclusions are in-line with Myatt post 2012 writings in that an individual can decide to go through many ordeals for the sake of his spiritual anados (ἄνοδος) but should abstain to cause others suffering for his own sake. Such actions, committed in the name of a vulgar concept or ideal-ism, could be numinous mistakes. These conclusions came to be as a reflection of my very own Pathei Mathos but could be termed as Myattian in essence, with a long list of other influences, namely Goodman, Chicoyne and Wittgenstein (…)

Which leads us to the second category, “The Order of Nine Angles”. In this category, I will study various points of the sinister tradition for the sake of my personal anados, ultimately applying my discoveries to my praxis. Bare in mind that such studies of old MSS are always done seriously but also in the optic of current Myatt perspective which I resonate entirely and authentically with. Nevertheless it is my opinion that the rich occult literature, vibrant mythos and the unique influences that made the order of nine angles what it has become is sufficient to push any willful practitioner toward self-discovery, wisdom but most importantly, beyond dualism. A quest that may take an entire lifetime, just like Myatt…

Finally, the three last categories are self-explanatory. In the “Rituals” section, I will share my practical experiences and what esoteric/exoteric changes they brought. This may also include physical ordeals, meditations or anything relating to the Seven Fold Way. In the “Balobian” section, I will share various artistic creations, mainly poetry and in the “Hecate” section, I will share my various research and ritualistic interactions with what I deem to be the most wordless and correlative goddess to the Rounwytha way that there is.

οὐκ οἶδἐφοἷς γὰρ μὴ φρονῶ σιγᾶν φιλῶ

“As to whether I really have reached my final mortal destination, I do not know;
but I hope I have. For there is now such a non-terran, non-causal, perspective,
and such a melding of much sadness with occasional joy, such a desire for a
numinous non-religious expiation, as have engendered a strange tranquillity
within. No desire, thus, to interfere in the lives of others or with the ways of the
world, and no desire to pontificate about anything other than personal and
scholarly matters, such as – and for example – the errors of judgement, the
mistakes, that mark my past; my own personal feelings and apprehensions
of-the-moment; the results of my retrospection; ancient Greek literature; and
my own, new-found, weltanschauung. For there is a certain vanity even now,
albeit tempered by an appreciation of an ancient paganus wisdom:

οὐκ ἐκ θεῶν τὰ μῶρα καὶ γέλοια χρὴ
χανόντα κλαίειν ὕστερ᾽

One of the conclusions of such retrospection as I have undertaken in the past
few years is of understanding the deeds and the intolerant striving of my
extremist decades as reprehensible. Another conclusion concerns my own
reprehensible character. Yet another concerns my hubris, or perhaps more
correctly my stupidity born of arrogance and fanaticism resulting in a failure, a
refusal, to learn from our thousands of years old human culture of pathei mathos.
For such a learning would have placed me and my extremism – me as a
masculous talking-mammal – in a supra-personal context, providing a
knowledge of those deeds and that striving as having the opposite effect of what
I intended or arrogantly believed they would achieve, and of only inflicting,
causing, more and more unnecessary suffering.

This supra-personal context is the Cosmic Perspective: of the reality of our
individual selves as but one fragile mortal short-lived biological life-form on one
planet orbiting one star in one galaxy in a Cosmos of billions of galaxies; of our
nations, our national cultures – and everything we manufacture or bring into-
being or presence, from ideas to ideologies to religions to cities to
industries to products to archetypes – being not only by their φύσις subject to
change and transmutation but also having a certain limited life span, be such in
terms of years, decades, centuries, or millennia; of how our pride in our
achievements or in our presencings, individual or collective – and such
achievements/presencings themselves – should be considered in the context of
the possibility of sentient life, some probably more advanced than us, on other
planets in our own galaxy and in the billions of galaxies in the Cosmos; of how
all life on our own planet, just like ourselves, is fragile, changing, and subject to
extinction; and of how what we, as individuals, do or do not do affects or can
affect other living beings.

For the Cosmic Perspective is an empathic awareness of not only our place in
the Cosmos but also of the affective and acausal connexions that bind all life, on
this planet and elsewhere in the Cosmos, and be such life sentient or otherwise.
And it is this empathic awareness which, according to my mutable
understanding, can provide us with a personal appreciation of the numinous
sans the abstractions, the theology, the cosmogony, the dogma, and sans the
God/gods, of an organized religion.

My hubriatic error in those extremist decades was essentially two-fold: (i) to
aspire to bring-into-being some-thing that would not and could not, in
centennial terms (let alone in millennial or cosmic terms) endure; and (ii) to use
violence and incite hatred, intolerance, and killing, in order to try and presence
that causal some-thing…

For me, there is a knowing of how limited and fallible my knowledge and
understanding are, combined with an intangible intimation of some-thing
possibly existing which is so abstruse that any and all attempts – at least by me –
to meld it into words, and thus form and confine it into some idea or ideas,
would miss or distort its essence. An intimation of what terms such as ‘acausal’
and ‘numinous’ (and even θεός/θεοί) do little to describe, hinting as such terms
do of externalities – of an ‘out there’ – whereas this some-thing is an intrinsic
part of us, connecting us to all life, human, terran, and otherwise, and thus
reveals our φύσις – our relation to beings and Being – behind the appearance
that is our conception of our separate self. An intimation thus of our brief
causality of mortal life being only one momentary microcosmic presencing of
that-which we it seems have a faculty to apprehend, and a that-which which
lives-on both before and after our brief moment of apprehended causal life.”

-David Myatt, One viator among so many (2014).

-Beldam, 128 yf

The War Ritual (Abattu)

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Conflict; the clashing of visions and destinies. The attempt by others to wrest away the Destiny of one individual and thus disrupt the greater Wyrd. A clouding of vision that creates doubts, lack of direction, susceptibility to outside forces and possibly, if insight is lost, the renouncing of a quest. The hardship imposed by the consequence of actions, but by the suffering such striving imposes. Wisdom – and Destiny – may be attained. Awareness of those factors – such as other people – that may fulfill Destiny, and the hard practical realities of striving to create this fulfillment. Sadness and wisdom and creativity through loss.


The name Gaspé comes from the Mi’kmaq word gespe’g, meaning “end”, referring to the end of the land and overall, this Dark Pathway left me incredibly confused and dreamy, as if I was intoxicated with too much beauty at ounce. My state of mind was foggy, unclear and very intuitive in nature. My dreams were mainly sequences of beautiful and touching events and when I would awake, I needed to rapidly gather my strength and focus for the task to come (driving over seven hours a day was not unusual at all).

I am currently at an important crossroad in my life where my professional career is about to be launched and what will now be sowed will heavily impact what will be reaped in the upcoming years. There is very little room for mistakes and for wasting time on mundanities and so I am feeling in a hurry to become the best version of who I can be. Interestingly, this is my 14th Dark Pathway, which means I have 2/3 of them done over the last decade. All of them were performed during very important and significant spiritual events and Abattu left me feeling more uncertain than any of the previous ones. This suggests many things but mainly that something crucial is missing from my existence which is creating a turmoil in my Physis. I have yet to discover what it is but deep down, I have a very good idea of what it could be. I also experienced the full force of what it means to experience a ‘living’ ritual without the necessity for abstractions and while I had done such journey before, something was different this time. It’s nearly like parts of my soul were scattered throughout these coasts that truly seem to be infinite. The cold winds of the north are accompanying you everywhere and no matter where you look, you are left in awe before this empire of clouds & blueish waves. You drive ever forward on a slithering coastal road, protected by mountains and steep hills that challenge your engine at every turn and sometimes, the trees give up and the horizon opens itself to a sight so immensely beautiful that human words can make nothing out of it.

Sacred Tools:

  • Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron 
  • Tarot Deck

This journey was a meditation on Wyrd and on how we should decide to invest our time and our enegry. It was a like a door that opens inwardly, inviting us to look at what we have, what we want and what we can make manifest with the time we are gifted with. Such introspection is always conflictual in nature, especially when looking at it from the standpoint of a young man reaching complete independence and heading toward a more settled life (Wu-Wei). What felt apparent to me during that journey was that love and friendship are definitely the most important elements of life. Feeling at home into someones arms, spreading love through honorable and fair actions or seeing sights of wonder in the company of a loyal trusted friend has no price and can’t be compared to anything that is born in the fallible mind of men.

There is also a vivid awareness of how species of times affect us all differently and deeply. In four days, we have seen the ocean, we traveled through foggy forests and rural villages. We meditated on the most ancient rocky formations in the world and we bathed our face with this cold water that purifies much more than the skin. We met all sorts of individuals and learned their stories. We’ve experienced the comforting rays of the sun and the anguish of the twilight drive, we barely avoided hurricane ‘Dorian’ and saw the rainy clouds give room to a sky so blue it seemed empty. We were something sharing silence, somethings laughter and some other time, an amazingly fitting piece of music.

Like any transition, nothing much makes sense for now and I have yet to mentally and emotionally make sense of those four days that felt like twenty. 2500Km/24h Drive is a great deal of images to shelve and the upcoming days will be spent resting and meditating further more on whats to come.

Whatever lies ahead, beyond this dense fog that currently leaves me in a blissful state of acceptance -like a child in the arms of a mother-, I simply know it is going to be wyrdful. Only then, will I truly understand what all of this meant and why it left me so humbled and so wordlessly alive in a midst of natural and inexplicable beauties.

There’s so much I want to say
But all the words just slip away…

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An Humble Analysis of Feond

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Important Notice(s): In my free time, I have been reading/studying with my very limited knowledge, the new text called ‘Feond’. I admit that I have been quite passionate about this new compendium since it seems to add details to certain topics that I had previously studied in the past. I tried to delve deeper with the clues that the ‘Wyrdsisters’  (Or Rachael Stirling) left for us to study and perhaps, discover something essentially important about the Greco-Roman Weltanschauung of the Order of Nine Angles. This article will go over some points to which I will add my discoveries or my thoughts, noting less and nothing more. I want to thank the ‘Wyrdsisters’ for uploading this document and thank whoever compiled it together. Perhaps in the future, my latest effusions on this blog, will be added to a more complete edition of ‘An Unfolding of Physis’ but considering how much time I spend on such matters, it is very doubtful.

The Fable of the Nine Muses

Very early in the compendium, we are given a fascinating origin to the term ‘Labyrinthos Mythologicus’:

“The term is a combination of (i) a transliteration of the Greek λαβύρινθος –
whence the Latin labyrinthus – and (ii) the post-classical Latin mythologicus, the
former word giving rise to the English terms labyrinth {1} and labyrinthine, and
the latter word having been used in the book Mythologiae by the post-Roman
grammarian Fabius Fulgentius (c. 6th century CE, a modern edition of whose
works was included in the Bibliotheca Teubneriana of 1898 published in
Leipzig), and used by him to suggest “myth-making; creating or concerned with
mythology or myths; a mythical narrative.”

-Feond, Page 25.

Interestingly, I researched a bit about this man called ‘Fulgentius the Mytographer’ and discovered some interesting elements that echo to certain Greco-Roman myths that might have influenced the Order of Nine Angles. While most fables are quite interesting and beautiful, I was particularly absorbed by the Fable of the Nine Muses which I could not help but associate to the Nine Angles of the tradition or the Seven Spheres plus the Two Immortal Realms:

“The seven of the hebdomad, plus the one of the ‘ogdoadic physis’ mentioned here, plus the one (also mentioned here) of what is beyond even this ‘ogdoadic physis’.

This ‘becoming united with theos’, however, does not mean that mortals ‘become god’ or become ‘a living god’. Instead, as Pœmandres has made clear (for example in section 26) it means transcending, beyond mortal death, to the two immortal realms that exist beyond the seven spheres, one of which is that of the ‘ogdoadic physis’, and both of which are described in terms of emanations of theos.”

-Perusing The Seven Fold Way: Historical Origins Of The Septenary System Of The Order of Nine Angles. 

In Greek mythology, the word ‘Mousa’ is associated with art, history, literature, inspiration and all those avenues that are explored by scholars and poets. The muses are ruled by Apollo who is also ruling over music, poetry, light and prophecy. Interestingly, the concept of memory and knowledge is central to the muses since they are born out of the union of Zeus & Mnemosyne. Fulgentius has the following thing to say about them in his allegory:

“They also assign to Apollo the nine Muses and add him to the Muses as a tenth one, for the reason that there are ten organs of articulation for the human voice, whence Apollo is also depicted with a lyre of ten strings. Also Holy Scripture speaks of a psaltery of ten strings. Speech is produced with the four teeth, that is, the ones placed in front, against which the tongue strikes; and if one of them were missing it would necessarily give forth a whistle rather than speech; two lips like cymbals, suitably modulating the words; the tongue, like a plectrum as with some pliancy it shapes the breathing of the voice; the palate, the dome of which projects the sound; the throat tube, which provides a track for the breath as it is expelled; and the lungs, like a sack of air, exhaling and reinhaling what is articulated. There you have the explanation of the nine Muses and Apollo himself as given by Anaximander of Lampsacenum and Zenophanes of Heraclea. Others, like Pisander, the teacher of medicine, and Euximenes in his book Theologumena, confirm this explanation. But I also say that the nine Muses are the stages of learning and knowledge, as follows:

First is Clio, standing for the first conception of learning, for cleos is the Greek for fame, whence Homer: “We heard only a rumor”; and elsewhere, “He heard the mighty rumor from afar in Cyprus.” Since no one seeks knowledge except that by which he may advance the honor of his reputation, Clio is named first, that is the conception of the search for knowledge. Second is Euterpe, whom in Greek we call well pleasing, because it is the first step to seek knowledge, the second to delight in what you seek. Third is Melpomene, for melenpieomene, that is, applying persistent thought, as it is the first step to find the need; the second, to delight in what you find needful; the third, to pursue the study of what you delight in. Fourth is Thalia, that is, growth, as if she were called tithonlia, that is, putting forth shoots, whence Epicharmus, the writer of comedies, says in his comedy Dipholus: “When he doesn’t see the shoots appear he is consumed with hunger.” Fifth is Polyhymnia, for polymnemen, as we say, making much memory, because memory is necessary after growth. Sixth is Erato, that is, euronchomoeon, which in Latin we call finding the same, because after knowledge and memory it is right hat one should find something similar about oneself. Seventh is Terpsichore, that is pleasant filling, whence Hermes in his book Opimandra says: “Both from a fill of food and an empty body” – since after finding you must also discriminate and judge what you have found. Eighth is Urania, that is, heavenly, for after judging, you select what to say and what to reject: to choose the useful and reject the inferior is a heavenly ability. Ninth is Calliope, that is, she of the excellent voice, whence Homer also says: “The voice of the goddess speaking.” This then is to be the order: first, to find the need for instruction; second, to delight in what you find needful; third, to pursue what you delight in; fourth, to grasp what you pursue; fifth, to remember what you grasp; sixth, to discover in yourself something resembling what you remember; seventh, to judge what you discover; eighth, to discriminate in what you judge; ninth, to make known in attractive form what you select.”

-Fulgentius the Mytographer, Translated by Leslie George Whitbread, Book I.

Interestingly, the influence(s) of these nine goddesses are quite causal in nature and I would even dare say that they influence matters related directly to the ego and how it processes knowledge from a very human standpoint. Perhaps Apollo is the ‘tenth’ because he is the bringer of light or rather, the synthesis of this ascension toward a more numinous form of knowledge or inspiration. Without a doubt, it is easy for any serious student of the Seven-Fold-Way to make connexions here, especially considering the feminine/muliberal archetypes that are displayed. Those goddesses are the pathway to knowledge and inspiration and act in a suble way to lead men toward certain realizations when it comes to their experiences/creations. If anything, this once again prooves how deeply important classical Greco-Roman texts are, especially in the light of the Order of Nine Angles.

My hyptohesis is reinforced by the following statement about the Nine Angles:

“From the 1970s on the O9A also used the term ‘angle’ as a synonym for
emanations (of the acausal in the causal), that is, as a protrusion or projection
of the acausal into the causal (cf. the Armenian ankiwn). The term angle as a
protrusion or projection is etymologically valid.
Thus the term angle even in ordinary usage meant and implied more than some
simple Euclidean intersection of two or more lines. The term angle – ἀγκών
(bend, nook) – occurs in Iamblichus in relation to the character, and
characteristics, of various gods, and is contrasted with the monad signifying
Apollo. Interestingly, in Latin the term – angulus – is, metaphorically, a “hiding or
lurking place”.

-Feond, Page 46.

There is thus, an obvious Nexion, a fluxion, a flow or rather an intrusion of something acausal (the influences of certain forces) into our causal capacities (perception, empathy, feelings & leanings. If Apollo is the monad, then in the context of the ‘Fable of the Nine Muses’, he perhaps represents the Ogdoadic Physis or what lies beyond it. Considering how important art, sculpture, poetry and speech craft was to the Greco-Roman culture, it is only right to assume that a beautiful poem, a mathematically crafted sculpture or a pleasant discourse could tap into some sort of numinous bridge that elevates the mind to something divine or truthful. That is what is described here by Fulgentius. The Nine Muses are the nine stages of knowledge and much like the seven spheres with the two additional immortal realms, there is an ascension there that leads to something more divine.

Feond purposefully leads us toward an interesting crossing between classical texts, Order of Nine Angles MSS & David Myatt translations. As I have always observed on this blog, all of these three different avenues, seems to be entwined on many regards and complete each others beautifully, especially considering the mystical, poetical and tragic life of David Myatt:

In the Numinous Metaphysics chapter of his 2017 monograph Tu Es Diaboli
Ianua, David Myatt iconoclastically wrote that in his view “the numinous is
primarily a manifestation of the muliebral and can be apprehended through a
personal, an interior, balance between masculous and muliebral.” {4}
He then asks the important and relevant question as how can the “numinous
balance between masculous and muliebral be metaphysically expressed, given
that the culture of pathei-mathos has moved us, or can move us, beyond anthropomorphic deities, whether male or female; beyond myths and legends;
beyond reliance on texts regarded as sacred and/or as divinely inspired; and
even beyond the need for denotatum and religion.”

If one accepts Myatt’s understanding of the numinous as “primarily a
manifestation of the muliebral” then it follows that all extant representations of
the numinous, from Christianity, to Islam, to Judaism, to Buddhism, to most
contemporary pagan revivals, as well as ancient Greco-Roman paganism, do not
or did not adequately presence the numinous.

For such a muliebral presencing would, according to Myatt, be manifest in “a
predominance of female deities; or in a dominant female deity; in legends and
myths which celebrate muliebral virtues, such as empathy.”
Hence a modern and metaphysical presencing of the numinous would be
“beyond the need for denotatum,” {5} whether the denotatum be a named
anthropomorphic divinity or named divinities, or whether such denotatum
involves texts, since it is manifest “in a personal weltanschauung and not in a
religion; has no hierarchy; no creed, no article or articles of faith; and no texts
whether written or aural.”

Thus the numinous is not and cannot be – as Rudolf Otto argued in his
Das Heilige – manifest in the Old and New Testaments of Christianity (Das
Heilige, chapters X, XI); nor is it manifest in the writings and sermons of
preachers such as Martin Luther (Das Heilige, chapters XII); nor in anything –
ancient or modern – which involves ‘worship’ (Das Heilige, chapter XIII ff). Nor
even in some philosophical theory and thence described by a term such as a
priori (Das Heilige, chapter XVII).

Which would seem to lead us back to Myatt’s understanding of empathy as a
human faculty which cannot exist beyond the personal horizon of the individual,
with the knowing gleaned by such a faculty limited to the immediacy-of-themoment
{6}. As a human faculty, it does not involve denotata, and is personal
and individual {7}. For empathy “reveals or can reveal the nature (the physis) –
sans abstractions/ideations/words – of Being, of beings, and of Time.” 

There is thus a pleasing symmetry here between Myatt’s metaphysics – as
manifest in his recent pagan monographs Tu Es Diaboli Ianua and Classical
Paganism And The Christian Ethos {10} – and the esotericism and praxis of the
essentially pagan O9A {11} and which symmetry might explain why some O9A
folk consider that Myatt as Rounwytha and Mage is now living the “final
apprehension” of The Unity beyond the abstractions of both sinister and
numinous having discovered, after fifty years on a Faustian quest, Lapis
Philosophicus.

-Feond, Page 37-38.

The Rounwytha option, seems to be quite faithful to what Mr Myatt & Mr Moult seems to have discovered over their exeatic and esoteric journey. I humbly believe that a restoration of muliebral virtues could lead to a more empathically correct approach to conflicts and a greater awareness of the magical layers that animates nature & beings. These virtues do not need to be associated to goddess or female deities necessarily, I believe they can be experienced through the power of love and human emotions, without the necessity to name them or associate them with any particular archetypes but there is definitely something about the ancient cults of the Greeks & the Roman that seemed more balanced and not as definitive as to what is the origin of creation. The magnificent library of classical Greek authors is a testament to those ancient cults & those ancients beliefs/values. Deities back then were neither ‘Numinous’ or ‘sinister’, they were an authentic affirmation of both. They could reward or punish at will and stories such as ‘Oedipus Tyrannus’ or ‘Antigone’ perfectly represents that. Those Greco-Roman roots are immensely important, not only because it gives credibility to the template of the Order of Nine Angles but most of all because it points to a more genuine form of witchraft that is not diluted in Christian principles. Witchcraft has to be authentic, without compromise, wordless, natural and intuitive to the cosmic powers.

“However, the dark reality is that the acausal allows for no such safety and no such mundane control. It cannot be disposed of if some urban git believes it is no longer useful for them or ceases “to believe in it”. It is, most importantly, not a creation of the human mind, of our consciousness. Not a matter of human perception. For, acausally, there is no subject distinct from, separate from, an object. For that distinction implies the separation of causality (between subject and object) and the linear movement of causality (some-thing passing from subject to object and vice versa) and also implies a perception (based on abstractions, such as categories) as to why the subject is or or may be different from the object. Thus, acausally, there is no perception of an object by a subject, such as ourselves. There is thus no “consciousness” to be individually aware of either such an object or of the subject itself (such as what causally we consider ourselves). There is not even any “change” – or progression or development – since there is no consciousness to perceive it and no causal linearality to measure such change.

For, acausally, there is no language as we currently understand language – because such language almost invariably (and especially Western languages) require or assume (imply) a copula , which itself implies the aforementioned distinction between some subject and some object, between subject and predicate. Between one existent and another existent, or between one subject and some object with some quality (or category) that has become to be associated with that object. How then can we know and understand the acausal? To be pedantic (or to be esoterically precise), “we” cannot – since there is no you or I or we to apprehend it. But, less esoterically, and thus somewhat exoterically, we can only currently (outside of such Esoteric Arts as dark-empathy) apprehend the acausal by its affects on our causal realm where we have our existence, and thus the most significant affect of the acausal in the causal is, as mentioned earlier, Life itself – the acausal energy presencing in our causal continuum that animates matter and makes that matter a living entity, from the microscopic cell to we human beings to Nature. Thus, we do not need “explanations” – or attempts at explanation – of the acausal by such causal things as “chaos”, or so-called chaos theory, quantum mechanics, particle physics, or by reference to any currently existing -isms such as some gnostic or Buddhist teaching or some exposition of some gnostic or Buddhist tenet, or even by some mathematical representation (given the current causal nature of maths).

All such explanations or interpretations or comparisons are irrelevant; unhelpful; unnecessary. To know and understand the acausal we just have to engage with it; experience it. No theories; no explanations. We have to cultivate, in ourselves, the faculties of acausal knowing and dark-empathy [6]. We have to thus come to know those causally-dwelling beings beyond our own individual being: the being of archetypes, the being of Nature and the beings that a part of, and not separate from, either Nature or that illusion of apprehension which is of our individual self. We have to become Adepts of The Dark Arts: practitioners of acausal sorcery. We have to evoke, invoke, to presence, those living beings who dwell in the acausal dimensions and who represent a type of Life beyond our causal living. In brief, we have to live our life in a different way from ordinary mortals. Which is why we are following The Sinister Way, to The Abyss and to The Acausal Beyond.”

-Feond, Page 52.

To live a life that is different, is the ultimate gift a human being can manifest for himself. As it is mentioned in the ‘internal Adept’ description of the compendium, it does not matter if your life takes you toward certain elements which might appear to be ‘mundane’ in nature such as becoming professional in a career of striving to have a healthy family’s life. What is important is simply the attempt to live a poetical life, a tragical life, a complete life. Whatever you do, keep listening to the whispers of the muses and have respect for the hidden powers of the universe. What matters is not what is written, what is expected or what is perceived. What matters is that you forge your very own path.

Only then can abstractions be shattered and Physis unfold.

 

-Beldam

 

 

 

 

The Supra-personal

Entwined

 Empathy and pathei-mathos, however, wordlessly – sans denotatum, sans abstractions, sans a dialectic of contradictory opposites – uncover physis: our physis, that of other mortals, that of other living beings, and that of Being/Reality itself. Which physis, howsoever presenced – in ourselves, in other living beings, in Being – is fluxive, a balance between the being that it now is, that it was, and that it has the inherent (the acausal) quality to be.

This uncovering, such a revealing, is of a knowing beyond ipseity and thus beyond the separation-of-otherness which denotatum, abstractions, and a dialectic of opposites manufacture and presence. A knowing of ourselves as an affective connexion to other living beings and to Being itself, with Being revealed as fluxive (as a meson – μέσον  – with the potentiality to change, to develope) and thus which (i) is not – as in the theology of revealed religions such as Christianity and Islam – a God who is Eternal, Unchanging, Omnipotent, and (ii) is affected or can be affected (in terms of physis) by what we do or do not do.

This awareness, this knowing, of such an affective connexion – our past, our current, our potentiality, to adversely affect, to have adversely affected, to cause, to having caused, suffering or harm to other living beings – also inclines us or can incline us toward benignity and humility, and thus incline us to live in a non-suffering causing way, appreciate of our thousands of years old culture of pathei-mathos.

-David Myatt, Physis & Being, an Introduction to the Philosophy of Pathei Mathos.

My thoughts have been occupied lately by what should be the driving purposes of a being and if there should be any, apart from the ones outlined in the ‘Philosophy of Pathei Mathos’ which, interestingly, are not activities but rather, a collection of virtues to embrace.

The Supra-personal is – like many in the philosophy of pathei-mathos & the Order of Nine Angles – a concept against concepts. What I mean by that is that it tends to outline why certain human creations (abstractions, categories, labels, isms), are detrimental to our existence and our experience of life. The entire analytical philosophy does just that since it outlines the limitations of language to further show the weaknesses of philosophy as an activity of the mind rather than a direct ladder to some sort of truth.

Since abstractions, categories, ideologies & concepts have an obvious influence on how we live, anything supra-personal is by default related to the activities it depends upon. A good example of this would be a fervent political Marxist. The ideology he follows requires him to live according to a specific set of rules or beliefs which will in turn, lead him to act and participate a certain way in society.

What is offered by the Philosophy of pathei mathos (Numinous Way) & ultimately, the Order of Nine Angles after years of experiences, is a detachment from abstractions & fallacious opposites. This in turn, leads the practitioner to abandon certain activities since the illusionary barriers have been shattered. For example, the separation of otherness becomes so apparent to anyone involved in politics that the entire spectrum of activities associated to politics becomes much less appealing.

David Myatt’s philosophy is fascinating because it is an invitation towards humility, simplicity, dignity, fairness, kindness, empathy, compassion and silence. It is the end of ways, the end of any form of activities that could be harmful to other beings, be they human or animal in nature. It is about balance (Wu-Wei) and about not upsetting the cosmic fluxion and unity that permeates everything.

Interestingly, after many years of studies and practical experiences, the physis of my being changed drastically and I realized that all these things I used to cherish were empty of any importance: A Nietzschean world-view, the dualistic nature of good & evil, the desire for an absolute ideology that I could espouse for my entire life, the appeal of certain political parties, the desire for a solely sinister approach to spirituality (…)

The beautiful, mystical and ultimately tragic journey of David Myatt resonated so much with what I was inwardly discovering through my esoteric practices and my studies. Finally, after a long while, something simply changed and altered itself forever. Rituals became less and less frequent, meditation was pushed aside for months and the time wasted studying vain ideologies and conceptual avenues was spent instead living moments of immense beauty with friends, family and the love of my life. I became aware that the time you spend convincing yourself how life should be, how society should be, how spirituality should be, you simply fail to be ‘there’. You are somewhere else, inside yourself, hoping you could change everything and exchange it all for YOUR very own and personal limited perspective. Most people act upon these thoughts which invariably results in the separation of otherness, the upsetting of the natural fluxion and the lack of empathy so prevalent nowadays.

I humbly think that the ultimate conclusion one can ascend to in regard to their physis, their spiritual journey, is that we are microscopic beings in an infinite universe and we are hopelessly unaware of the mechanisms of creation or the meaning of existence. We are fallible beings with a very limited set of tools that barely allow us to function in a causal realm we understand very little about. We should stop taking ourselves so seriously, stop fantasizing that there is a superior motive to our existence and stop ‘building’ conceptual castles filled with abstractions to entertain ourselves through this oh so short life that we are gifted with.

Nothing is more spiritual, nothing is more valuable and nothing is more ritualistic than a life lived in conscience of Wu-Wei, surrounded by loved ones, without a second wasted in the labyrinths of the mind.

Love, Compassion, Tolerance, Fairness, Honor, Kindness, Empathy, Friendship…

Yes, they are concepts but the heart knows about them much better than the mind does. For the mind can only understand them by applying them to a paradigm and human paradigms do not work when it comes to the wordless because they are dependant on language to be grasped somewhat efficiently by the mind. Love is not love as it is defined by a dictionary, it is something beyond us that we attempted to describe as best as we could with our very limited means of perception and communication. Definitions do not make you a better person, what you do in accordance to what you feel in the immediacy of the moment does. You can choose to be emphatical, even if you do not really understand how empathy functions. You can choose to abandon yourself entirely to this mysterious and powerful process that we call ‘love’ even if you do not know what it truly is. It does not make it any less Magical.

In my admittedly fallible view, one of our many human problems – one of the great problems of our modern ways of life – is that there is too much noise, especially the noise of and from words, spoken, read and thought. Far far too many words spoken; far too much speaking, too little silent, interior, reflexion, especially among the natural peace of Nature where we can sense and know again in our stillness the acausal Time of the Cosmos.

For wisdom is not to be found in speeches, in political or social manifestos, tracts or books; nor in some political, religious, or social, theory or dogma. And especially not in some abstraction, some ideal.

Rather, wisdom is there to be discovered, within ourselves; others can only gently point or guide us toward this self-discovery, toward the necessary interior, quiet, reflexion – perhaps through some work of Art, or some sublime piece of music, some poignant literature; perhaps some poem; or perhaps by some noble deed done or some selfless personal love that needs no words to speak or advertise its wordless name.

-David Myatt, The Love That Needs No Words.

-Beldam, 2019

 

Hazelgate & Physis Going Live

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After about Four Years, Hazelgate is finally going live on Amazon in about three days. It is currently pending approbation from Amazon KDP and I received/inspected the Proofread which was of excellent quality. I want to remind everyone that the book is a FRENCH horror novel inspired primarily by certain elements of traditional witchcraft, the O9A and the Blair Witch Project Mythos.

You will all be informed in the upcoming days when the book will be officially purchasable via Amazon.com. The second edition of ‘An Unfolding of Physis’ is also underway and will be purchasable once again in the upcoming weeks.

Thank you all for your support, the end is near.

-Beldam

https://youtu.be/5M47xXk9AtE

Something has Changed

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I have lost my appetite for discourses, for this continual obsession with ‘wording’ and this unstoppable craving for definitions. The long list of dilemmas that kept me awake at night in my teenage years has become nothing but a dull, distant whisper. I sometimes sit at my desk and aim to write as I used to but only poetry comes about in the best of times, relieving me temporarily and pulling me closer toward all the beauty that my heart contains and seeks to make manifest in the world. This beauty no longer becomes tangible in words or the theoretical pirouettes of the mind but rather, in a practical, mutually shared experience of all those things that existence has to offer.

It is not exclusive to what makes us feel good, but also how we, human beings, have the capacity to transmute our hardships into lessons and overcome our fears, our uncertainties and alter ourselves into something entirely different when mind and matter are consciously oriented toward such a purpose. I currently espouse no philosophy, no one true way or specific religion. I simply lend my ear to the subtle calling of my wyrd and go about as a child would, seizing opportunities, discovering new avenues that challenge how I feel, how I think and how I perceive. I am not comforted by any truths, any thoughts extracted from ancient traditions or any sort of human faith. I am simply a collector of memories and I am inspired by what impacted me in those days gone and use such inspirations to forge my future. There is no secrets, no particularities, just an openness, an urge to go ever forward and go beyond my very own personal frontiers.

I no longer see the world separated by dualistic terms but rather, as a cosmic ensemble of which we are taking a part of for a time and for reasons unknown. My spiritual journey has led me to discover that abstractions are the cause of hubris in man and that love, compassion, temperance, friendship and loyalty, whatever these words truly mean, are the most important elements of our existence and require no specific attributes outside of what is felt through them. They are part of our physis, our essence as empathically capable beings and instead of disconnecting ourselves from such attributes, we should find ways to harvest them. I believe that giving up on this incessant necessity for language is one way to do so, thus restoring some sort of supra-personal understanding, some appreciation for all those unnameable acausal elements that are beyond us, beyond our flawed perception. Thus, we understand how we are nothing but a microscopic spec of dust in the cosmos and we also understand how futile it is for us as a specie, to take ourselves so seriously. In the light of such realisations, I can only slowly but surely withdraw into silence and watch as a passenger would all those fruitless attempt to ‘be right’, to ‘dominate’ others via the convulsions of language and semantics.

What rather makes my soul shiver are the laughter’s near the river during the twilight walks, the long conversations in the golden fields while birds are flying and chirping all around us. I am enlivened after the ascent of a mountain and when I see this infinite horizon of clouds or after a morning session where me and my comrades have been sparing for a few hours. I would exchange all the words in the world for those simple moments where we just enjoyed an ice cream outside, watching the sky turn from blue to purple and than to a dark crimson palette of colors or when we kissed under the bridge, listening to the cars come and go. I also vividly remember my short visits to the monastery where I would lay in the orchard with my pack of wild dogs and meditate for hours on end or when I would walk all day long during the compostelle trail in France and enjoy those simple things, so easily taken for granted.

Those fleeting moments are the true wealth of our existence and it should be a duty for all of us to fight as hard and for as long as we can so we push ourselves toward such moments and not wait for them to come and go as a breeze would. We have the capacity to create such opportunities, to put aside our fears, our limitations and go beyond what is known. Time is a currency, stop waiting and expecting life to hand over everything to you. Fight and struggle to make your dreams realities and collect those precious memories as if they were the greatest rarities in the world. When I close my eyes and I look deep inside of my heart, I am submerged by all this beauty, all those moments pasts that now contribute to forge who I am in the present. When I bathe in the current of my reminiscences, the will for me to write and corrupt through words such magic vanishes altogether. While I would never compare my paths to the path of someone else, I like to believe that I am at peace, possibly the same way Richard Moult Is at peace when he paints his stunning and mystical pieces of Tarot(s) or When David Myatt walks in those landscapes so unique to England.

Hence why I no longer write, I live instead. My life is the most vibrant ritual, the most beautiful poem, the most unique emanation that there is and no convulsions of the human vocabulary can make sense of how numinous and wyrdful our temporary earthly manifestation is or can be. I have so much to do and so little time, I want to see, I want to achieve, I want to be. 

 

I am neither the scars that marked my heart in those days gone,

Nor the idyllic possibilities of my unrevealed future.

 

The mind is only ever partially the architect of what’s to come,

And the actions undertaken causally are never up to par with what was initially fantasized,

 

And it is in-between those two melding currents,

That manifest itself what we so casually call: The human experience.

You just have to let-go.

-Beldam

2019-04-21

 

Oὐροβόρος

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Time passes by,

Unaware as to why,

We live,

We age,

And then we die.

 .

Just like the moon,

Graciously sails toward crimson skies,

So do we,

Journey wyrdfully,

Until the colors in our eyes,

Are extinguished delicately,

Like the flame of a candle would be.

 .

We then ascend peacefully,

Experiencing once more through memory,

All the Smiles,

The Kisses,

The Joy,

The Vows…

 .

There is also the shivering of the leaves in the oak trees,

And a flock of birds flying ever forward,

Toward an horizon so exalted in colors,

That the sea below is no longer so,

And the sun, thrones vividly,

Amidst an infinite veil of glowing stars.

And there are those treasures,

Buried deep within the confines of the mind

Remembered once more…

 .

Your soft, pristine hands,

That I held for hours,

The sound of your voice,

Crystalline and yet so elegant.

Or those walks in the ancients woodlands,

Where we embraced,

Until shooting stars suffused high above…

 .

Life…

Our lack of control,

Should be our greatest reason for humility.

 .

And power we have very little,

If only the faculty to choose,

To live for love,

For what is fair and pure,

 .

Until the abyss is crossed,

And immortality embraced,

Through Cosmic awareness.

 .

With all that is numinous,

Past, present, future,

United forever in the center,

Of the Spiral.