Foreword & Purpose

numinous way

One Viator Among So Many

This online journal that is mine has various purposes and I decided to outline them here so my readers are not confused about my intentions or the nature of my research and practical experiences… This wordpress is primarily about self-honesty, authenticity and the quest for knowledge from a philosophico-occult perspective. I consider myself as both a student and a practitioner, nothing more. My conclusions are as fallible and juvenile (νήπιος) as they can be but they remain parallelic to my spiritual path and my scholarly research…

It is also equally a tribute to the post 2012 conclusions of David Myatt, embodied in his tragically unpopular; Numinous Way now revised as the philosophy of pathei mathos, which is a rejection of extremism but also a cosmic perspective which emphasis is on love, compassion, friendship, peace, the wordless, humility and tempering the human hubris. This latest perspective of his only arose after a lifelong Pathei Mathos (πάθει μάθος )…

Thus, the “Philosophy” aspect of this online journal are my analytical conclusions concerning the limits of human made worlds and their inability to presence or reflect the numinous because of our limited set of tools (language, perception, reason). Instead, such worlds are created out of logos and considered to be absolutes (i.e. religion, ism, concepts, ideals) by most beings which in turn, create hubris (ὕϐρις) and suffering out of sheer ignorance. In this regard, my philosophical conclusions are in-line with Myatt post 2012 writings in that an individual can decide to go through many ordeals for the sake of his spiritual anados (ἄνοδος) but should abstain to cause others suffering for his own sake. Such actions, committed in the name of a vulgar concept or ideal-ism, could be numinous mistakes. These conclusions came to be as a reflection of my very own Pathei Mathos but could be termed as Myattian in essence, with a long list of other influences, namely Goodman, Chicoyne and Wittgenstein (…)

Which leads us to the second category, “The Order of Nine Angles”. In this category, I will study various points of the sinister tradition for the sake of my personal anados, ultimately applying my discoveries to my praxis. Bare in mind that such studies of old MSS are always done seriously but also in the optic of current Myatt perspective which I resonate entirely and authentically with. Nevertheless it is my opinion that the rich occult literature, vibrant mythos and the unique influences that made the order of nine angles what it has become is sufficient to push any willful practitioner toward self-discovery, wisdom but most importantly, beyond dualism. A quest that may take an entire lifetime, just like Myatt…

Finally, the three last categories are self-explanatory. In the “Rituals” section, I will share my practical experiences and what esoteric/exoteric changes they brought. This may also include physical ordeals, meditations or anything relating to the Seven Fold Way. In the “Balobian” section, I will share various artistic creations, mainly poetry and in the “Hecate” section, I will share my various research and ritualistic interactions with what I deem to be the most wordless and correlative goddess to the Rounwytha way that there is.

οὐκ οἶδἐφοἷς γὰρ μὴ φρονῶ σιγᾶν φιλῶ

“As to whether I really have reached my final mortal destination, I do not know;
but I hope I have. For there is now such a non-terran, non-causal, perspective,
and such a melding of much sadness with occasional joy, such a desire for a
numinous non-religious expiation, as have engendered a strange tranquillity
within. No desire, thus, to interfere in the lives of others or with the ways of the
world, and no desire to pontificate about anything other than personal and
scholarly matters, such as – and for example – the errors of judgement, the
mistakes, that mark my past; my own personal feelings and apprehensions
of-the-moment; the results of my retrospection; ancient Greek literature; and
my own, new-found, weltanschauung. For there is a certain vanity even now,
albeit tempered by an appreciation of an ancient paganus wisdom:

οὐκ ἐκ θεῶν τὰ μῶρα καὶ γέλοια χρὴ
χανόντα κλαίειν ὕστερ᾽

One of the conclusions of such retrospection as I have undertaken in the past
few years is of understanding the deeds and the intolerant striving of my
extremist decades as reprehensible. Another conclusion concerns my own
reprehensible character. Yet another concerns my hubris, or perhaps more
correctly my stupidity born of arrogance and fanaticism resulting in a failure, a
refusal, to learn from our thousands of years old human culture of pathei mathos.
For such a learning would have placed me and my extremism – me as a
masculous talking-mammal – in a supra-personal context, providing a
knowledge of those deeds and that striving as having the opposite effect of what
I intended or arrogantly believed they would achieve, and of only inflicting,
causing, more and more unnecessary suffering.

This supra-personal context is the Cosmic Perspective: of the reality of our
individual selves as but one fragile mortal short-lived biological life-form on one
planet orbiting one star in one galaxy in a Cosmos of billions of galaxies; of our
nations, our national cultures – and everything we manufacture or bring into-
being or presence, from ideas to ideologies to religions to cities to
industries to products to archetypes – being not only by their φύσις subject to
change and transmutation but also having a certain limited life span, be such in
terms of years, decades, centuries, or millennia; of how our pride in our
achievements or in our presencings, individual or collective – and such
achievements/presencings themselves – should be considered in the context of
the possibility of sentient life, some probably more advanced than us, on other
planets in our own galaxy and in the billions of galaxies in the Cosmos; of how
all life on our own planet, just like ourselves, is fragile, changing, and subject to
extinction; and of how what we, as individuals, do or do not do affects or can
affect other living beings.

For the Cosmic Perspective is an empathic awareness of not only our place in
the Cosmos but also of the affective and acausal connexions that bind all life, on
this planet and elsewhere in the Cosmos, and be such life sentient or otherwise.
And it is this empathic awareness which, according to my mutable
understanding, can provide us with a personal appreciation of the numinous
sans the abstractions, the theology, the cosmogony, the dogma, and sans the
God/gods, of an organized religion.

My hubriatic error in those extremist decades was essentially two-fold: (i) to
aspire to bring-into-being some-thing that would not and could not, in
centennial terms (let alone in millennial or cosmic terms) endure; and (ii) to use
violence and incite hatred, intolerance, and killing, in order to try and presence
that causal some-thing…

For me, there is a knowing of how limited and fallible my knowledge and
understanding are, combined with an intangible intimation of some-thing
possibly existing which is so abstruse that any and all attempts – at least by me –
to meld it into words, and thus form and confine it into some idea or ideas,
would miss or distort its essence. An intimation of what terms such as ‘acausal’
and ‘numinous’ (and even θεός/θεοί) do little to describe, hinting as such terms
do of externalities – of an ‘out there’ – whereas this some-thing is an intrinsic
part of us, connecting us to all life, human, terran, and otherwise, and thus
reveals our φύσις – our relation to beings and Being – behind the appearance
that is our conception of our separate self. An intimation thus of our brief
causality of mortal life being only one momentary microcosmic presencing of
that-which we it seems have a faculty to apprehend, and a that-which which
lives-on both before and after our brief moment of apprehended causal life.”

-David Myatt, One viator among so many (2014).

-Beldam, 128 yf


Another Ripple

numinous way

The creation of this ‘online journal’ was and always has been, a personal journey which was decided would be shared so that perhaps my exploration(s) could benefit others. Not only have I discovered much, I know that it did impact positively many others who stepped out of the shadows and befriended me, inspiring me with their own very unique ἄνοδος…

The priority of this journal, beyond authenticity and self-discovery has always been about reminding myself and others about the limits and dangers of language, about the dangers of abstractions and how hubris is and always has been, the main problem when it comes to humanity. It is also about the strikingly beautiful “Numinous Way” or “The way of Pathei Mathos” of David Myatt which I consider to be the state closest to the culmination of any spiritual path (Lapis Philosophicus).

My researches led me to make several things collide together in unity, perhaps naturally or as part of an artificial aspect of my very own ἄνοδος/Weltanschauung. Vivid examples of this could be the connection between the Numinous Way and the Rounwytha Way, about the apolitical wordlessness of the Numinous Way and how Lapis Philosophicus lies beyond denotatum, about how certain concepts which are part of the Order of Nine Angles are part of the Labyrinthos Mythologicus according to certain hints present in certain MSS. Finally, about how a plethora of MSS seems to lead the authentic practitioner toward ancient texts which in the end, delivers a conclusion terrifyingly similar to the Numinous Way of David Myatt about the dangers of Hubris…

Beyond such personal conclusions, I have found what I needed to find and delivered myself from certain chains which I know, will haunt (knowingly or unknowingly) some others for the rest of their life. I am humbly in peace in the multitudinous and will continue to strive fearlessly, with an indomitable resolution but at the same time, in complete serenity. The time has come for me to embrace what I like to call my ‘synthesis’ and to bask in the magnificent experience that we call ‘life’, always with the many teachings of the wise-ones, whispered in my ears. David Myatt words, through Pathei-Mathos, became clearer with time and still do. A continual source of temperance and of equilibrium.

” Living according to Way of Pathei-Mathos is simple and means:

  • being compassionate or inclining toward compassion by trying to avoid causing, or contributing, to suffering;
  • being honourable – fair, reasonable, well-mannered, just, dignified, balanced;
  • appreciating the value and importance of personal love;
  • inclining toward a personal humility;
  • cultivating wu-wei.

1/ Being compassionate:  The separation-of-otherness is a term used in an attempt to describe how our normal perception of ourselves as a singular, a separate, individual is incorrect, an error which empathy can correct.

Empathy involves a translocation of ourselves and thus a knowing-of another living-being as that living-being is, without presumptions and sans all ideations, all projections. In a simple way, empathy involves a numinous sympathy with another living-being; a becoming – for a causal moment or moments – of that other-being, so that we know, can feel, can understand, the suffering or the joy of that living-being. In such moments, there is no distinction made between them and us – there is only the flow of life; only the presencing and the ultimate unity of Life itself.

2/ Being Honourable: My understanding of honour thus came to be as expressed, in The Philosophy of The Numen, as an ethical means to aid the cessation of suffering and thus as “a practical manifestation of empathy: of how we can relate to other people, and other life, in an empathic and compassionate way” [3]. That is, as a means whereby we as individuals can manifest a well-balanced, a fair, a noble, personal judgement, and thus how both ἀρετή and Δίκα can be presenced in those communities, those societies, we belong to or establish. The Philosophy of The Numen is, therefore, and perhaps more correctly, the philosophy of πάθει μάθος – where the numinosity of authority of or deriving from πάθει μάθος is given precedence over the ways of doctrine, religious faith, and the ideation of causal, un-numinous, abstractions

3/ Mutual love:A shared, mutual, love between two human beings is regarded as the most beautiful, the most numinous, the most human virtue of all.

4/ Personal humility:For me personally, humility is also an acknowledgement of a particular and important intuition regarding the self, regarding our perception of ourselves. Of how – when as individuals via pathei-mathos or otherwise we experience and then appreciate the numinous – we are not (as we often like to believe) in control of our lives, but instead are subject to supra-personal forces that have often, in the past as now, been variously termed or described as God, the gods, Fate, karma, Allah, wyrd, the cosmic perspective, the acausal, destiny, Μοῖραι τρίμορφοι μνήμονές τ᾽ Ἐρινύες, and so on. Of how such a belief of personally being in control, or of being capable of so being in control, of our lives, is mere egoism at best and, at worst, hubris; an egoism and a hubris that, whether we know or not – and mostly we with our egoism and our hubris do not know – are both the genesis of suffering and the raison d’etat behind our perpetuation of suffering.

5/ Cultivating Wu-wei: Wu-wei is a Taoist term used in The Way of Pathei-Mathos to refer to a personal ‘letting-be’ deriving from a feeling, a knowing, that an essential part of wisdom is cultivation of an interior personal balance and which cultivation requires acceptance that one must work with, or employ, things according to their nature, their φύσις, for to do otherwise is incorrect, and inclines us toward, or is, being excessive – that is, toward the error, the unbalance, that is hubris, an error often manifest in personal arrogance, excessive personal pride, and insolence – that is, a disrespect for the numinous.

In practice, the knowledge, the understanding, the intuition, the insight that is wu-wei is a knowledge, an understanding, that can be acquired from empathy, πάθει μάθος, and by a knowing of and an appreciation of the numinous. This knowledge and understanding is of wholeness, and that life, things/beings, change, flow, exist, in certain natural ways which we human beings cannot change however hard we might try; that such a hardness of human trying, a belief in such hardness, is unwise, un-natural, upsets the natural balance and can cause misfortune/suffering for us and/or for others, now or in the future. Thus success lies in discovering the inner nature (the physis) of things/beings/ourselves and gently, naturally, slowly, working with this inner nature, not striving against it.”

-David Myatt, Synopsis of The Way of Pathei-Mathos & The Culture of ἀρετή 

To appreciate more deeply those teachings, it is indeed important to understand the fallibility of language which is now and always has been, the inhibitor of hubris. David Myatt, in a more recent article also pointed this out:

“Of the many metaphysical things I have pondered upon in the last five or so years, one is the enigma of words. More specifically, of how nomen – a name, a term, a designation – can not only apparently bring-into-being abstractions (and their categories) but also prescribe both our thinking and our actions, with such abstractions and such prescription so often being used by us, we mortals, to persuade, to entreat, to manipulate, to control, not only ourselves but through us others of our human kind. Whence how denotatum can and so often does distance, distract, us from the essence – the physis – that empathy and its wordless (acausal) knowing can reveal and has for certain mortals so often in past millennia revealed.
For we seem somehow addicted to talk, to chatter – spoken and written – just as we assume, we believe, so often on the basis of nomina that we expand our pretension of knowing beyond the local horizon of a very personal wordless empathy breeding thus, encouraging thus, such hubris as has so marked our species for perhaps five thousand years. With such hubris – such certitude of knowing – being the genesis of such suffering as we have so often inflicted on others and, sometimes, even upon ourselves.
Would that we could, as a sentient species, dispense with nomen, nomina, and thus communicate with others – and with ourselves – empathically and thus acquire the habit of acausal wordless knowing. There would then be no need for the politics of propaganda and the rhetoric of persuasion; no need – no ability – to lie or pretend to others. For we would be known – wordlessly revealed – for who and what we really are. And what a different world that would be where no lie, no deception, would work and where guilt could never be concealed.”

-David Myatt, Perhaps words are the problem

What became most evident for me over time is that there is no forcing such a perspective. It has to bloom just like a flower bloom’s after a long and tedious struggle through darkness, through growth. One day burned by the rays of the sun and the other, stirred by the winds and the rain. It is, like thousand others to come, a realization which changes you entirely…

Evidently, since there can and should be no forcing it unto others and since I am unable to give-in to abstractions, there is a now very healthy abstinence from my part. I am unable and uninterested to surround myself with individuals who thrive off abstractions and I am even less interested in ‘arguing’ with people who defend a category or a mixture of categories (abstraction feeding). I am also not interested in positing the Numinous Way as the ‘ultimate way’ as this would be foolish and imbalanced on many regards. On the contrary, the Numinous Way is, on many levels, the end of ways and the beginning of what it means to ‘Be’. People who insist on the necessity of being: Divine, Evil, Sinister, Numinous, Ubermensch, Religious, Liberal, Conservative, Satanist, Luciferian, Christian (…) Those individuals are manufacturing and positing as absolutes certain abstractions which in the end, always have the same result; They cause a little bit or a lot of sufferings. The universe will never be able to be contained in a human box.

In the hope that others will continue to be inspired by the Numinous Way, by my researches on language and by a wordless apprehension of the cosmos, I decided to leave this wordpress available even though I will not be posting anymore, at least, not ‘here’.

Again, as stated many times, everything written here is written with a certain degree of conviction, inspired by a simple and insignificant yet wyrdful pathei mathos. But above all, it is written with complete humility. I do not claim to have achieved something unique or to possess knowledge that others do not have. I am nothing, if a temporary and joyful earthly emanation. I wish to thank David Myatt for being a perpetual inspiration and to all others whom I have crossed path with and will continue to be inspired by. May your life be a wyrdful ritual.

“Thus it is that I find, through and because of such a recalling, that what I value now, what I feel and sense is most important, is a direct, personal, mutual love between two human beings – and that such love is far far more important, more real, more human, than any abstraction, than any idealism, than any so-called duty, than any dogma, than any cause, however “idealistic”; more important – far more important – than any ideology, than any and all -isms and -ologies be such -isms and such -ologies understood conventionally as political, or religious or social. For it is the desire to love, to be loved – and the desire to cease to cause suffering – which are important, which should be our priority, and which are the true measure of our own humanity.”

-David Myatt, A learning from Physis.

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

T.s. Eliot

-Beldam, 128 yf



The Sinister Feminine And Homo Hubris

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Important Notice(s): This article was originally posted by ‘Wyrdsister’ on https://wyrdsister.wordpress.com/. It is shared here out of sheer agreement with what is expressed in this article and how even such individuals abounds outside of the occult spheres. It was also shared because of the ensemble of references to the importance of the alchemical aspect of the Order of Nine Angles.

Masculous And Muliebral

The Sinister Feminine And Homo Hubris

As apprehended by those who have ventured along the Seven Fold Way of the Order of Nine Angles (O9A, ONA) to at least the stage of Internal Adept, and by those who because of their physis feel the ‘sinisterly-numinous’ aesthetic, one of the fundamental problems of the modern Western Left Hand Path in general and of modern ‘Satanism’ in particular is that of Homo Hubris. As noted in one text which is recommended reading for aspirant Adepts, the species Homo Hubris is

             “distinguished by their profane lack of numinous balance, by a lack of knowing of and feeling for the numinous; by a personal arrogance, by a lack of manners, and by that lack of respect for anything other than strength/power and/or their own gratification.” {1}

This profane lack of numinous balance is most manifest in the principles – adopted by modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ – of “might is right” and of “total satisfaction of the ego”.

In contrast, one of the aims of the Occult anados that is the O9A Seven Fold Way is for the initiate to personally experience – through exoteric and esoteric deeds – both what has been described as ‘the sinister’ and what has been described as ‘the numinous’ and, because of such experience, to meld them together in order to transcend beyond them. The experiences required in order to do this include the Rite of Internal Adept where the candidate lives alone – for three or six months – in primitive conditions in the wilderness. Which Rite has as its aim the development in the individual of empathy {2} and which empathy is a manifestation of the muliebral and thus in direct contrast to the masculous principles adopted by modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’. {3}

For the O9A has

             “an initiated – esoteric – apprehension of the raison d’etre of alchemy: of ourselves as having, in essence, both a masculous and a muliebral physis, and which initially undivided physis (sans denotatum, and thus the artificial, hubriatic, division between masculous and muliebral) is now, as in the past it was for the majority, lost; with alchemy anciently understood and practised by many alchemists as a means whereby we might re-discover our natural, and balanced, human physis.” {4}

This esoteric apprehension is evident in some ancient texts, such as the ‘Pymander’ text from the Corpus Hermeticum:

             “Now listen to the rest of the explanation you asked to hear. When the cycle was fulfilled, the connexions between all things were, by the deliberations of theos, unfastened. Living beings – all male-and-female then – were, including humans, rent asunder thus bringing into being portions that were masculous with the others muliebral.” {5}

Which is why – in contrast to the patriarchal, masculous, ethos which has dominated the world, East and West, for millennia, of which Levey-type ‘satanism’ is but one recent manifestation – the esoteric tradition of the O9A is of ἀρρενόθηλυς: of balancing the masculous with the muliebral through pathei-mathos both esoteric and exoteric.

Misunderstanding The Sinister Feminine

Given the foregoing overview of O9A esoteric theory and praxis it is hardly surprising that modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ are and have been upset by and annoyed with – and keep trying to discredit – the O9A especially given the O9A claim that the O9A is Satanist and that Howard Stanton Levey was a plagiarist, a charlatan, and an example of Homo Hubris: that is, in common parlance, he was plebeian.

It is also hardly surprising that modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ and other modern Occultists – weaned on Magian, kabbalistic inspired, ‘sorcery’ – have misunderstood what the O9A mean by ‘the sinister feminine’, emanation as that archetype {6} is of the three lower spheres (nexions) on the O9A’s seven-fold Tree of Wyrd, and thus redolent as it is of the esoteric and exoteric pathei-mathos of those three lower spheres. That is, redolent of and expressing what, for the individual initiate, is some years before The Rite of Internal Adept and long before (usually at least a decade before) The Rite Of The Abyss with its lunar month of solitary chthonic living. {7}

Thus, in the O9A system ‘the sinister feminine’ is an archetype to be lived, experientially by a woman, or experienced experientially by a man, as a noviciate pathei-mathos; just as O9A Satanism (as manifest in texts such as The Black Book of Satan and in the O9A archetypes of Satan and Baphomet) is a necessary noviciate pathei-mathos, to be lived, experienced, learned from: a beginning of the decades-long anados that is the O9A Seven Fold Way.

Which is why archetypal representations of the sinister feminine – be they fictional, or artistic (as in Tarot images) or presenced through rites and ceremonies of sorcery, or lived or experienced through ‘insight roles’ – are just archetypal representations germane to those three lower spheres and thus to individual pathei-mathos. They are not, and never have been, the raison d’être of the ONA itself, for that raison d’être is the Seven Fold Way and thus the individuals who, through undertaking that anados, meld the sinister with the numinous (the masculous with the muliebral) and thus develop their own unique weltanschauung.

        Of course, we do not expect most Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ – weaned on gratifying their ego – nor most modern Occultists – weaned on Magian ‘sorcery’ – to apprehend either (a) the Aeonic intent behind such O9A archetypes, or (b) the difference, esoterically and exoterically, between (i) the archetypal presencing – the nexion – that is the O9A with its Seven Fold Way, and (ii) the archetypal presencings – the nexions – that form the particular spheres which are encompassed by the nexion that is the Seven Fold Way. But, as we know from our own experience, one or two might over the years so apprehend to perchance begin their own quest along the Seven Fold Way.

Rachael Stirling
2017 ev


{1} The Mythos of Vindex.
{2} This aim was spelled out in early – 1970s to 1980s – ONA texts, one of which was published in the 1980s Occult zine Nox and subsequently included in the book The Infernal Texts: Nox & Liber Koth (Falcon Publications, 1997).
{3} The differences are outlined in the book The Joy Of The Sinister. In particular in the three chapters titled (i) The De-Evolutionary Nature of Might is Right, and (ii) The Gentleman’s – and Noble Ladies – Brief Guide to The Dark Arts, and (iii) Concerning Culling as Art.
{4} See the O9A text Alchemy And The Sinisterly-Numinous Tradition.
{5} Poemandres, as translated by DW Myatt. Masculous has been described as referring to:
“the abilities and qualities that are conventionally and historically associated with men, such as competitiveness, aggression, a certain harshness, the desire to organize/control, and a desire for adventure and/or for conflict/war/violence/competition over and above personal love and culture.”

Muliebral has been described as referring to:
“those positive traits, abilities, and qualities that are conventionally and historically associated with women, such as empathy, sensitivity, gentleness, compassion, and a desire to love and be loved over and above a desire for conflict/adventure/war.”

{6} In O9A esotericism, an archetype is defined as “a particular causal presencing of a certain acausal energy and is thus akin to a type of acausal living being in the causal, and thus in the psyche; it is born (or can be created, by magickal means), its lives, and then it ‘dies’ (ceases to be present, presenced) in the causal (i.e. its energy in the causal ceases).”

{7} The text The Seven Fold Way Of The Order Of Nine Angles: A Modern Practical Guide provides a summary of both those rites.

-Beldam, 128 yf

Plurality & Exaltation

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I noticed for a long time a very common error of the human perspective when it comes to our many activities (both in the functional and the intellectual spheres). As previously observed in a plethora of other articles, it is clear that human beings have the natural tendency to think and analyze in a very linear pattern. Our ways of harmonizing everything into mentally projected groups or categories is a constant activity of the mind.

And so: Cat ≈ Tiger, Computer ≈ Virtual, Cold ≈ Temperature (…)

The pendulum swings between those established opposites of what we meticulously defined. Unfortunately, what analytical philosophy teaches us is that it works solely for functionalities… Things that are not overly abstract. For example, we understand clearly that an apple is a fruit and that it can be eaten. There is nothing remotely abstract about such an information and even individuals who do not speak the same language as you, will have a good idea of what your desires or intentions are.

No, the real problem is when we try to apply the same linearity to what is beyond the grasp of language, hence why philosophy in and of itself, is rightly described as an ‘activity’ by Socrate. As Wittgenstein mentioned before, our real philosophical problems have always originated from us, attempting to say the unsayable…

The real danger is  that we still force our ways through concepts and try to harmonize them with the tools of ignorance.

What is love:

Category 1: Love ≈ God (Religious)

Category 2: Love ≈ A signal from the brain. (Scientific)

Category 3: Love ≈ A willful Interaction between two beings. (Social)

Result: Love changes from one category to the other and there is no definite answer but the one we give it, in accord with our chosen category or mixture of categories.

And so the fatal error of perspective is that we tend to lose sight of the multitudinous, of plurality. Human being and nature as a whole is not a singularly pieced entity. Our needs, our desires, our condition, our explorations, our understanding, our ambitions are always morphing themselves, every day, every hours, every seconds.

As someone that follows the Seven-Fold-Way and more precisely, the Numinous Way, I admit that I am addicted to life. I see no contradiction in seeking to better myself both through what is vulgarly termed as ‘Dark’ and ‘Light’ (as long as it does not hinder the peregrination of others, for evolution, in some ways, is also an abstraction which is dependant on specific categories and language)… There is yet again, a plurality of experiences that our ‘Wyrd’ offers us, through a very pluralistic echo of time(s) which then impact us in a plurality of ways, making our soul shiver with what I like to believe to be a new, cosmic understanding.

Accepting and coming at peace with this principle means you have achieved the end of duality and that you can take and grow whatever is required of the experiences you will harvest/encounter throughout your life without denoting or classifying them as ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ but rather, simply part of the flow of your terrestrial existence. Nothing is separated, everything becomes whole. You are not here to harmonize Physis through language and play God with what ‘X’ is and what ‘Y’ should be. You are here to be part of this momentary cosmic effluvium and bite right into the apple. Eden opened, Eden closed, what do we care? We are here for the walk anyway and while walking, there is pain and there is bliss.

A Satanist, in essence, is someone that is and should be addicted to whatever existence has to offer, beyond what is vulgarly harmonized by language and beyond the selfish needs and desires that are honourless. No words can come to terms with what a wyrdful life truly is.

When this, along with the continuous actions of plurality and the dangers of selfishness (hubris) is realized, there can only be Exaltation and a letting-go. No more struggle to understand, to name or to control…

Simply a desire to be, with everything that is implied by being.

“So many memories which slowly fade as bright colour exposed to Sun: as the
bright checks of my Tweed cap have slowly faded over the years, unrenewed
as the greens of the grass, the bush, the tree, become renewed each year,
through Spring. Only memories, as of Fran; to be savoured but perhaps now
not too much to be dwelt upon in almost unbearable sadness, for thus is – for
thus has the – a type of balance returned; that balance, that dwelling in
immediacy, which I from learning feel and know is the essence of wu-wei.

This is a change within me, regarding the life and death of Fran, and the life
and death of Sue; regarding my own diverse journeys and explorations. A
change toward a being-settled that has partly arisen from at last forsaking
abstractions and partly from accepting that it is immediacy and remembrance
of memories which convey the only correct meaning we human beings have or
can find and which is numinous. No projection, thus, of an abstractive
life-beyond this mortal life; no need for a religious type of faith; no battle or
desire to strive to be in accord with any abstraction; and even no need to
believe in, or even un-numinously desire, some-thing.

No depth of unfathomable wordless sadness to bring that ultimate life-ending despair such as I assume Fran felt in the last hours of her own mortal living.
For there is only the bright Sun; the slight breeze in bush and tree; the
verdant, living, green of grass; the yellow Buttercups that are profusely
sprinkled there in the old Orchard of old Apple trees whose lower branches
have been windfallen, or become broken with age, or stripped of bark by the
two Goats who roam there, where Chickens range, food-seeking. Only the
passing billowing fair-weather white Cumulus clouds below the sky-blue of
Earth’s earthly mortal life.

My decades long mistake of unbalanced stupidity has been to be un-rooted; to
be of unnatural uneedful haste. To cease to dwell within each immediacy of
each moment. To be swayed by, persuaded by, in thrall to – to even love –
un-numinous and thus un-ethical abstractions. To be thus that which we
human beings have become: a stage between animal – talking – and
compassionate, empathic being aware of and treasuring each small pulse of
life that lives near, within, us because there is no separation unless we in
hubris and by abstraction create such separation.
Thus are we now but Homo Hubris, struggling, halting, wasting ourselves and
all of Life around us; infected now with the virus of abstractions so that, upon
this living Earth, we – in our new de-evolution – despoil, disrupt, destroy the
Life that is our Life and the genesis of The Numinous, often in the name of
that un-ethical abstraction called “progress”. And yet we have a cure for our
millennia-long debilitating sickness; have always had a cure, although so many
for so long, as I, have failed in our blind stupidity to see it.
So, this is all that there is: only the bright Sun; the slight breeze in bush and
tree; the verdant, living, green of grass; the yellow Buttercups that are
profusely sprinkled here where, now, The Numinous lives, on another
beautifully warm and Sunny day, bright with light remembered…”

-David Myatt, Almost Mid-Summer

-Beldam, 128 yf


Via Podiensis

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Life is the greatest ritual that there is and it is up to each and everyone of us to do what we can to have no regrets when we lay in the coffin. To decapitate our fears and remove them from their illusory roots. To go beyond our limits and be reborn anew, perpetually until our legs, our body, becomes tired like the bark of an old oak and our mind, serene like the waves of the ocean at dawn…

I understand better and better what David Myatt means when he says that every human beings are living according to their very own species of time. Certain experiences -it seems- are beyond the considerations of time and the mundane expectations of others or even, of yourself. You prepare mentally and try to know what to expect, encouraged by the descriptions or previous experiences of others but it ends up to be so different and beyond control. Some people walking the pilgrim trail were formal when describing their transformation but some others, were hardly sure at all of what they were seeking. Some of them are changed after a few days, some others after a few weeks and some others after a year of walking. Some are changed by a sight, a song, a moment or a lover they met during the walk, some by the chants in a cathedral, some by a certain village where certain ancient ways of life, especially Christian ones are still common. Everyone is altered in a very particular way, beyond the understanding of others. It is something intimate, something personal that no one can touch…

My ten days of walk did change me tremendously and brought to light certain things I would have never expected, namely my passion for my loved one and how I would have wished her to be there with me and see what I was seeing and experience what I was experiencing. I was also torn between hardship and the hard earned beauties of nature that were surrounding me, haunting me at every turn. Windy mountains, barren landscapes, medieval villages, stone walls that I imagined only in Scotland or England, fields of sheep’s and cows or even dense and sinister forests where millennial Celtic stones were still standing. Stones we were told, had been used for ceremonial rituals and sacrifices ages ago by northern warriors. The numinosity and the grandeur of the churches were present at every villages and yet, equally as strong were stories such as the ‘Beast of Gevaudan’, legends of werewolves and demonic creatures lurking in the forests along with witches.

On a more personal and practical level, I am very proud of what I accomplished since I am definitively not a trained hiker and was equipped terribly badly for this experience. My bag was not suited for hikes, I had to carry my sleeping bag for six hours a day, everyday and my bag was too heavy, so much so that I had to get rid of certain items the first day. My right foot is also plagued by mycosis which I thought would not bother me at all but led me to have a lot of bulbs all around and make my progress harder. Still, we walked for eight days with an emphasis on visiting since we did not want to miss anything or skip through. We walked over 100km in total, sometimes doing more, sometimes doing less. What I discovered is that you have to follow your own rhythm. Walking with other people is extremely pleasant and I enjoyed every seconds of it but you are actually making it harder for yourself. The last day of walk, I went alone to really challenge myself and it is actually the only day I did not feel tired or did not feel my bulbs on my foot. I walked 16 km in two hours only which is quite an accomplishment considering my equipment and the state of my toes. It was an ecstatic walk and strangely, even though I did it very quickly and surpassed myself, I felt full of vitality and not tired one bit. At the top of the mountains, I would sing continuously ‘Agios O Baphomet’.

On a purely physical level, I kept thinking about the following:

The intention of such techniques, challenges, and experiences, is to provide the candidate with structured, formative, life-changing, experiences – to harshly test them, to begin the process that fundamentally changes (and evolves) their character, developes a self-knowing and certain esoteric abilities and skills, moves them toward individuation, or which destroys/defeats them and thus reveals them as unsuitable – physically, mentally, and in occult terms – for the O9A.  

-The Complete Guide To The Order of Nine Angles 

Interestingly, I also noticed how many people miss the point of such trails. They remain attached to language, to numbers and useless arguments for hours instead of taking the time to attune with themselves. To go within. I personally, felt like I was at the monastery but more challenged, more confronted to what I really was and how I evaluate myself on a day-to-day basis but most important of all, I felt that the true importance of such experiences is also to be shared with the ones you love. In my free time, I would practice drawing and read poetry or walk around in the villages, appreciating the sun, slowly calcinating my skin or simply watching the birds flying to their nests in the rocks of the ancient buildings. I could also stay for long periods in the deserted churches or cathedrals since in the afternoon, most of the population is sleeping.

I will conclude with what is most evident, what has been evident for me for a few years now and what continues to be most evident in various, numinous ways: Love, compassion and the authentic effort to wisdom, to Lapis Philosophicus is a mandatory process of the human experience. Language, once again, is often, far too often a trap where people get caught on for a million of different reasons. What is important, what is beautiful and simple is not held in any way, shape or form by language. At best, language can scratch these things but never seize them firmly and present them as they are.

Words, arguments, language, and the like, are of the mind; whereas in the state that has just been referred to, there, language has no place. This body respects whatever anyone may say, because each person’s point of view depends on the particular stairway by which he ascends. Whatever idea may be held – be it on a high or low level – it is all the same, so far as this body is concerned.

Furthermore, it is quite certain that Reality is beyond speech and thought Only that which can be expressed in words is being said.

But what cannot be put into language, is indeed That which IS.

-Words of Sri Ananda Mayi.

Do not be afraid to ascend according to YOUR species of time, in accord with what YOUR heart tells you. Anything else is un-spiritual and a product of the ego.


-Beldam, 128 yf



The Hermit Ritual (Sauroctonos)

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Withdrawal and a revealing; the lying between two stages of alchemical Change. Intimations of the Abyss. The culmination on a personal level of energies created by Change – the surfacing of individual factors hitherto only known on an unconscious level. A process of dis-covery that will lead to insight, (further) knowledge of wyrd; or madness, death.

We drove two hours, through rain and countryside to finally reach our destination: ‘Sainte-Clotilde-de-Horton’ Asylum. Apparently one of the most haunted area in Quebec, which is the source of many legends and tales of horrors in the region. Many dark things were done to the patients in this institution through the years, until it became abandoned. The owner and guardian, passionate about ghost hunting, decided to leave it standing and he goes there regularly to camp and ‘channel’ with the many entities that still wander the desolated corridors.

When we arrived, he came to talk with us for a little while and he prepared us exactly for what we would experience inside: Cold drafts, electronic apparels failures, odd sounds at the third and fourth floors.

Saying that it is exactly what happened is an understatement. Upon entering, we were met with the kind of cold I have only ever experienced in deeply haunted area. It was a cold day outside and it was far colder inside. When stepping in, my friend’s ‘Go-Pro’ dropped dead instantaneously. We explored the first floor for a while which it seemed, was where the dirty experiments happened on the helpless. Then we climbed to the second floor and that is when we started feeling dizzy and unwell, especially in the stairs. A sense of dread and weight fell upon us like it happens in those kind of areas.

We then went to the third and fourth floor and did some martial arts for a while. There were windows all around, giving us a beautiful sight of the courtyard and the large forest. We felt completely out of place, in a different dimension and yet, surrounded, observed by some unseen forces, both cheerful and sad. In the building, I also discovered a gloomy doll which I decided to keep as a ritualistic tool.

I then went up to the fourth floor and separated from my friends for a moment to bring my emotions to the peak. Everything felt so right, so natural, even though it had been prepared in details a few days prior.

Sacred Tools:

  • The Order of Nine Angles Sigil
  • The Tree of Wyrd Sigil
  • Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron
  • Haunted Doll
  • Sauroctonos Sigil

I kneeled close to a window and placed my three sigils to the ground along with my Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron and the doll. I close my eyes, bathed in the sunlight and the cold wind and started visualizing the sigil of Sauroctonos in my mind. I then took the time to read the poem many times and felt ecstatic. So much so that my entire body was electrified with Goosebumps.

I was staring at the doll, thinking about all the energies which were still a part of this building, of this area. This feeling was fortified even more by the fact that a few droplets of water had fallen on the doll’s head and were flowing down her eyes and cheeks. I repeated outloud:

“Faces are removed and she sits in the stone house unheard.”

I then directed all my thoughts toward my Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron. I walked with it in my hands until we decided it was time to leave. We discussed some more with the owner and then we departed with a sense of accomplishment and joy. We drove through the countryside, enjoying the last rays of the sun and then the starry night.

Coming back home, I rediscovered loneliness and pondered for an hour or two in my room. I felt feverish and tired and yet, enervated. I placed the doll in my altar and washed my clothes but not my body. I wanted to sleep in this energy, in this disturbed aura that I felt, I had brought home with me.

Sauroctonos effectively has the power to awaken the subconscious, especially when channeled in such an area and I must admit that since I went to the monastery, I kept feeling that I was in-between two stages. While exploring the many gloomy rooms, I felt I was receiving confirmation as if I was unlocking certain hidden areas of my character. I also felt deeply inspired by the fact that our adventure at the asylum was an introduction to my upcoming ten days pilgrim walk in France which will happen in roughly a month. Like I did the first time, I am certain that many more discoveries await in the European mountains.

Leaving this place, the last thing I remember were my sigils being moved around by the wind in the large room of the fourth floor. Going back down, we were amazed at how deathly cold it was.

It is immensely hard for me to explain what changes happened through me during this experience. So many different emotions were felt, so many realizations, so many influences. In all honesty, it was overwhelming but extremely satisfying and like everything truly meaningful, it will take me time and dreams to understand how wyrdful this whole ritual was.

-Beldam, 128 yf




Lunae and Solis Exaltio

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Important Notice(s): This article could be seen as the part two of my previous article; The Seven Spheres & Alchemy. As noted already, it is essential that the reader goes through the MSS entitled: ‘The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles’ for a better understanding of what is discussed here.

Beyond the ever-growing opinions of the followers (young & old) of the ways of the Order of Nine Angles, what remains perfectly clear is that following this path can only lead to μεταμορφόω both esoterically and exoterically. It is my opinion – yet again – that many are stuck in the appeal of the transgressive, in the quick rewards of world versions. They overlook the essential which is, in reality, beyond what is so commonly termed ‘light & dark’ (Sinister – Numinous).

Strangely, the theoretical informations leading to a rational understanding of this μεταμορφόω is abundant in the corpus of the Order of Nine Angles but words written or spoken are unable to stabilize the authentic pillar of knowledge. This pillar can only be cemented by praxis. Whether you are following your heart and instinct or you proceed with orthodoxy does not matter. What is necessary is that you make the water boil and you plunge in it.

The Seven-Fold-Way, the Star Game & The slow fluctuation of the being toward wordlessness are innovative but inspired by ancient influences:

“The O9A septenary system does indeed represent an older – pre-Hebrewesque – and Hellenic and genuinely hermetic occult tradition is gradually becoming increasing known outside of O9A circles, partly due to articles such as Perusing The Seven Fold Way: Historical Origins Of The Septenary System Of The Order of Nine Angles, partly due to Myatt’s translations of the Pymander and Ιερός Λόγος tractates of the ancient Corpus Hermeticum {2} – in which physis and a septenary system are mentioned several times – and partly due to his notes on the fourth tractate (Ἑρμοῦ πρὸς Τάτ ὁ κρατῆρ ἡ μονάς) in which notes {3} he pointed out the use of a septenary system by John Dee as described in Theorem XVIII of Dee’s 1564 work Monas Hieroglyphica,”

-The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

It is obviously, possible to find exterior sources which supports such claims. A good example of this lies in the ‘Secret Book of Artephius’ where it is beautifully stated that:

“Now this our second and living water is called “Azoth”, the water washing the laton viz. the body compounded of sol and luna by our first water; it is also called the soul of the dissolved bodies, which souls we have even now tied together, for the use of the wise philosopher. How precious then, and how great a thing is this water; for without it, the work could never be done or perfected; it is also called the “vase naturae”, the belly, the womb, the receptacle of the tincture, the earth, the nurse. It is the royal fountain in which the king and queen bathe themselves; and the mother must be put into and sealed up within the belly of her infant; and that is sol himself, who proceeded from her, and whom she brought forth; and therefore they have loved one another as mother and son, and are conjoined together, because they come from one and the same root, and are of the same substance and nature.”

-The Secret Book of Artephius

How more evident does it need to be? Lapis Philosophicus is within, we have all the necessary ingredients and by following a genuine spiritual path which is conform to our own φύσις, our own Άνοδος we can make Sol & Luna interwine, thus achieving a state of understanding closer to what is described in the Corpus Hermeticum (Ogdoadic Physis). That is, developing a way of apprehension of the world, of life and of the Cosmos that is more and more A-causal in nature, more genuinely esoteric and empathic.

“In the Pymander text, beyond the seven spheres of the anados there is the realm of ‘the ogdoadic physis’ – with particular forces and powers – and, beyond that, another realm; both described in relation to theos. As Myatt explains in his commentary on the Pymander text – in reference to section 26 and the Greek word δύναμις – these are quite distinct from the seven spheres: “δύναμις. Those forces, those particular powers – or, more precisely, that type (or those types) of being(s) or existence – that are not only beyond the septenary system but beyond the ogdoadic physis of those mortals who have, because of their journey (ἄνοδος) through the septenary system, achieved immortality. It is therefore easy to understand why some considered there were, or represented their understanding/insight by, ‘nine’ (seven plus two) fundamental cosmic emanations, or by nine realms or spheres – qv. the quote from Cicero {10} – the seven of the hebdomad, plus the one of the ‘ogdoadic physis’ mentioned here, plus the one (also mentioned here) of what is beyond even this ‘ogdoadic physis’.”

The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

Another common misconception about the final stage is that the practitioner achieves a state of self-deification and becomes a living god much like what is desired in modern Satanism. If you refer yourself to the Corpus Hermeticum, you can see that the transition toward the acausal is far more mystical and that there is no false promises but rather, a reuniting with Theos:

“According to the hermetic weltanschauung, as outlined by Poemandres here, all physis – the being, nature, character, of beings – their essence beyond the form/appearance their being is or assumes or is perceived as – re-presents (manifests, is an eikon of) theos. That is, the physis of beings can be considered not only as an emanation of theos but as re-presenting his Being, his essence. To recognize this, to recognize theos, to be in communion with theos, to return to theos, and thus become immortal, there is the way up (anados) through the seven spheres.”

The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

This getting closer to Theos through the Seven-Fold-Way should bring about a perspective detached from world versions, a perspective similar to the Numinous Way of David Myatt or the silent and natural way of the Rounwytha where the masculous and the muliebral have been understood as a separation of the undivided that can be restored to one single element. Seeing beyond words and seeking ἀρετή, one can only become conscious of the underlying unity of the κόσμος.

“A twofold worke doth make, but such a worke as doth admit division none at all”

-D.D. W. Bedman


Furthermore, this interaction between Sol & Luna are also essential to understand how the Star Game can be used to approach a new and more symbolical way to think. What is fascinating about this symbolical way to think is that you start projecting yourself consciously as a genuinely transformative being in the Aeonic and alchemical sense. Another way of formulating would be that you are consciously playing with causal transformations (Salt, Mercury, Sulphur) and while doing so, generating acausal alchemical alterations (Ego, Self, Spirit). According to the Monas Hieroglyphica of John Dee, the three elements join together when you have achieved Lapis Philosophicus (Lunae and Solis exaltio).


Here is a very interesting description of how those changes might be felt inwardly for the practitioner:

5“In the development of an individual as an individual develops naturally (i.e. without the aid of esoteric Arts) the ‘ego’ stage lasts from youth to middle-age: there is a need to establish an outward ‘role’ (in society/clan etc.), to find a ‘mate’ and propagate and to care for the physical/material needs/pleasures.

6The ‘self’ is the ‘stage’ beyond this – when there is an apprehension (often only intuitive outside of magick) of (a) the wyrd of the individual and (b) the separate existence of other individuals as those individuals are in themselves. Put simply, (b) involves a degree of ’empathy’. In the natural state, the self may evolve in ‘middle age’ or before – and often arises as a consequence of formative experiences (e.g. experience of war; personal loss; tragedy). In the natural state (because the unconscious has not been properly experienced and integrated) there is almost always a conflict with the ‘ego’ desires/pressures so that the insight, given by the self, is sometimes lost by the individual who returns to an ‘ego’ existence.

7The ‘wisdom’ of ‘old age’ is the gradual resolution of this conflict in favour of the self. In the past, the striving of an individual psyche for self-hood was often represented by myths and legends. Another term for ‘self-hood’ (the living of the role of the self- where the perception of ‘Time’ differs from that of the ‘ego’) is ‘individuation’. Esoterically, self- hood/individuation is Adeptship – but Adeptship implies much more than ‘individuation . It implies a conscious, rational understanding of one’s self and that of others as well as skill/mastery of esoteric Arts and techniques. It also implies a ‘cosmic Aeonic perspective’ to the Wyrd and the self. Individuation may be seen as a natural stage, achieved by the natural process of living (for some, at least) whereas Adeptship is a goal attained by following an esoteric Way; that is, which results from Initiation into the mysteries. As such, Adeptship contains individuation, but is greater than it.

DeeHieroglyph.gifAlso, individuation is itself only a stage: there are stages beyond even this: it is not the end of personal development […] Beyond, lies the ordeal of the Abyss and the birth of the O9A Master/Mistress – beyond them lies Immortality. Expressed simply, the ‘ego’ has no perception of acausal ‘time’ – but is unconsciously affected by acausal energies; the ‘self has some perception of acausal ‘time’ and is less affected by acausal energies. The Adept has learnt to control the personal acausal energies of the psyche (external/internal magick) – there still remains, however, ‘Aeonic’ energies which affect even the self. Control/mastery of these takes
the individual beyond the Abyss.”

-The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

All the informations are out there, written already. I am only here to attest to their veracity through my own experiences and interpretations.

Here, a fabulous conclusion for this chapter:

While the seven-fold way is clearly a modern anados which enshrines the ancient hermetic and rather mystical tradition of an individual seeking to attain immorality, it is also, and importantly, different. For it is a practical and a decidedly occult anados, a means of individual transformation and learning, involving as it does the use of sorcery; ordeals such as the grade ritual of internal adept where the candidate has to live alone in wilderness isolation for around three months; and a guided – an initiatory – exploration of the supernatural realms (or archetypal realms, depending on one’s
perspective) part of which involves working with Tarot images and evoking ‘supernatural’ (or archetypal) forms termed ‘the dark gods’. There is therefore, as a study of Naos makes clear, a melding of ancient traditions – occult, alchemical, hermetic, mystical – with newer esoteric, occult, techniques such as The Star Game and Esoteric Chant.

The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

-Beldam, 128 yf