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Thurhfaran & Meterwyrtha Are Live

www.amazon.com/The-Beldam/e/B08JHBFBZY

It is with great joy that I finally announce the release of my two books: Thurhfaran & Meterwyrhta on Amazon.

Meterwyrtha is a compilation of my poetry that I accumulated over the years. The great majority are in english but the final segments are in french.

Thurhfaran is, in a way, the final chapter to my previous book: “An Unfolding of Physis”. Rather than being focused on the Occult as a whole, it is a more personal account of my discoveries during my (still ongoing) esoteric journey. The book is sold in two versions: One Sinister & One Numinous.

It is my hope that those two releases will compare in terms of quality to “An Unfolding of Physis” and “Hazelgate” and will lead more individuals toward the Philosophy of Pathei-Mathos of David Myatt.

Again, thank you all for everything and do not hesitate to review the books on Amazon and let me know what your thoughts were.

Thurhfaran Sinister Version

Thurhfaran Numinous Version

Meterwyrhta

-Beldam

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David Myatt Final Disclaimer And Archive

Important Notice: With the finality of this blog, I leave here an archive of the post 2012-2013 writings & translations of David Myatt. Such writings have not been rejected like most of his previous effusions and can still serve as a valid influence to lead us toward love and away from extremism.

I reject and disown all my pre-2011 writings and effusions, with the exception of my Greek translations, the poetry included in the published collection One Exquisite Silence (ISBN 978-1484179932), some private letters written between 2002 and 2011, and those few items about my since much revised ‘numinous way’ which are included in post-2012 publications such as The Numinous Way of Pathei-Mathos (ISBN978-1484096642).

My rejection of all forms of extremism is outlined in (i) the 2013 compilation Understanding and Rejecting Extremism (ISBN 978-1484854266) and (ii) Myngath (ISBN 978-1484110744).

My weltanschauung – the result of my own pathei-mathos – is outlined in texts such as (i) the aforementioned The Numinous Way of Pathei-Mathos; (ii) Religion, Empathy, and Pathei-Mathos (ISBN 978-1484097984), and (iii) One Vagabond In Exile From The Gods: Some Personal and Metaphysical Musings (ISBN 978-1502396105)

The development of my ‘numinous way’ into the ‘philosophy of pathei-mathos’ is outlined in the 2012 essay The Development of The Numinous Way.

-David Myatt


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To Go Beyond

The pillars of existence and the most important elements of life are as follow in no particular order: Love, Loyalty, Honor, Temperance, Compassion, Family, Friends and Empathy (…) Do not let any abstractions convince you otherwise and do not let the words limit your wordless understanding of such things. The words do not matter; it is what they imply that does.– Points of Considerations

Thurhfaran: From old Anglo-Saxon – to go over, to go beyond, to traverse to transcend, to pass beyond…

With my two books right about to be published, this shall officially be my final post on this WordPress albeit perhaps the release announcement for Thurhfaran and Meterwyrtha. My personal journey has revealed to me that Love, Compassion, Fairness, Tolerance, Empathy, Friendship and Family are the true measure of our humanity as David Myatt ultimately concluded in his Philosophy of Pathei-Mathos. I want to walk away for good from all abstractions, especially the ones that seems to have a propensity to cause sufferings to others and to force an idea into form, regardless of the consequences. After being attached to such abstractions for over a decade, be they political, spiritual or occult in nature my heart has been telling me since the release of ‘An Unfolding of Physis’ that it was time to walk away. What concerns me now is transforming my life into a living ritual, a work of art, a poem that will bring me to tears in my golden age because of how beautiful and authentic it is. I want to do and share this with the individuals that I love and hold dear because exeatic moments are much more so when they are shared and reflected in the eyes of our loved ones.

“Thus it is that I find, through and because of such a recalling, that what I value now, what I feel and sense is most important, is a direct, personal, mutual love between two human beings – and that such love is far far more important, more real, more human, than any abstraction, than any idealism, than any so-called duty, than any dogma, than any cause, however “idealistic”; more important – far more important – than any ideology, than any and all -isms and -ologies be such -isms and such -ologies understood conventionally as political, or religious or social. For it is the desire to love, to be loved – and the desire to cease to cause suffering – which are important, which should be our priority, and which are the true measure of our own humanity.”

-David Myatt

My peregrinations in the occult brought me a tremendous amount of magic. It allowed me to dissipate most of my fears. To get acquinted with who I really am deep within. It pushed me toward new intellectual and physical heights. It forced me to explore opposites and see past them in a way I would have never imagined. It showed to me the limitations of human-made worlds and language. It allowed me to meet incredibly inspiring individuals that had a hand in shaping me into who I am now. It made me go through anguish and bliss while exploring via meditations and rituals many layers of my subconscious and creative mind. It got me closer to nature during my years long insight role at the farm. It showed me the unecessary suffering caused by political extremism and faith-like religious adherence. It pushed me to travel and come face to face with my own limitations and capacities and it fueled my determination in training as a martial artist. All these experiences, I owed to myself but also partially to my association with the various occult, esoteric and spiritual movements that I explored in the last decade.

Now things have changed. They became simpler, more serene as I have so often previously observed in my recent articles. No longer is there a need to convince, to forcibly alter others, to pontificate about certain topics in order to influence. All I am looking for is the experience itself. Life. I want to travel the world, to perfect my martial arts, to experience once more the undescribable powers of love, to create powerful and rewarding friendships, to seek to be a good person in all that it entails and to see and feel as much as I can before the hourglass is empty.

My final conclusions about spirituality and esotericism are completley correlative with what David Myatt has brought forward in his Philosophy of Pathei-Mathos and what has been so graciously worded by a mystical painter in the past:

“As I see things, beyond all the labels, the seeking of experiences,
the grasping of and for “knowledge”, there is only the potential of
quiet, numinous presencings, brought wyrdfully, and for the most part, out of our control.”


-Anonymous

What T.S. Eliot has expressed in his poem Little Gidding fills my heart completely as a descriptor for what I feel is the very essence of an esoteric journey which is a spiral, a coming back to the same place, the same concept but changed.

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

Thank you all for the partaking, the sharing, the inspiring connexions, the insights and the undying support. What trully matters at the end of it all are the friendships made, the travelling together, the philosophical and mystical investigations and this sublime desire to grow, to become better persons, to surpass ourselves from what we previously were and to get to know who we are sans all illusions and abstractions and what is our role, however small, on this small spec of dust that floats in an eternal sea of stars.

-Beldam

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Foreword & Purpose

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One Viator Among So Many

This online journal that is mine has various purposes and I decided to outline them here so my readers are not confused about my intentions or the nature of my research and practical experiences… This wordpress is primarily about self-honesty, authenticity and the quest for knowledge from a philosophico-occult perspective. I consider myself as both a student and a practitioner, nothing more. My conclusions are as fallible and juvenile (νήπιος) as they can be but they remain parallelic to my spiritual path and my scholarly research…

It is also equally a tribute to the post 2012 conclusions of David Myatt, embodied in his tragically unpopular; Numinous Way now revised as the philosophy of pathei mathos, which is a rejection of extremism but also a cosmic perspective which emphasis is on love, compassion, friendship, peace, the wordless, humility and tempering the human hubris. This latest perspective of his only arose after a lifelong Pathei Mathos (πάθει μάθος )…

Thus, the “Philosophy” aspect of this online journal are my analytical conclusions concerning the limits of human made worlds and their inability to presence or reflect the numinous because of our limited set of tools (language, perception, reason). Instead, such worlds are created out of logos and considered to be absolutes (i.e. religion, ism, concepts, ideals) by most beings which in turn, create hubris (ὕϐρις) and suffering out of sheer ignorance. In this regard, my philosophical conclusions are in-line with Myatt post 2012 writings in that an individual can decide to go through many ordeals for the sake of his spiritual anados (ἄνοδος) but should abstain to cause others suffering for his own sake. Such actions, committed in the name of a vulgar concept or ideal-ism, could be numinous mistakes. These conclusions came to be as a reflection of my very own Pathei Mathos but could be termed as Myattian in essence, with a long list of other influences, namely Goodman, Chicoyne and Wittgenstein (…)

Which leads us to the second category, “The Order of Nine Angles”. In this category, I will study various points of the sinister tradition for the sake of my personal anados, ultimately applying my discoveries to my praxis. Bare in mind that such studies of old MSS are always done seriously but also in the optic of current Myatt perspective which I resonate entirely and authentically with. Nevertheless it is my opinion that the rich occult literature, vibrant mythos and the unique influences that made the order of nine angles what it has become is sufficient to push any willful practitioner toward self-discovery, wisdom but most importantly, beyond dualism. A quest that may take an entire lifetime, just like Myatt…

Finally, the three last categories are self-explanatory. In the “Rituals” section, I will share my practical experiences and what esoteric/exoteric changes they brought. This may also include physical ordeals, meditations or anything relating to the Seven Fold Way. In the “Balobian” section, I will share various artistic creations, mainly poetry and in the “Hecate” section, I will share my various research and ritualistic interactions with what I deem to be the most wordless and correlative goddess to the Rounwytha way that there is.

οὐκ οἶδἐφοἷς γὰρ μὴ φρονῶ σιγᾶν φιλῶ

“As to whether I really have reached my final mortal destination, I do not know;
but I hope I have. For there is now such a non-terran, non-causal, perspective,
and such a melding of much sadness with occasional joy, such a desire for a
numinous non-religious expiation, as have engendered a strange tranquillity
within. No desire, thus, to interfere in the lives of others or with the ways of the
world, and no desire to pontificate about anything other than personal and
scholarly matters, such as – and for example – the errors of judgement, the
mistakes, that mark my past; my own personal feelings and apprehensions
of-the-moment; the results of my retrospection; ancient Greek literature; and
my own, new-found, weltanschauung. For there is a certain vanity even now,
albeit tempered by an appreciation of an ancient paganus wisdom:

οὐκ ἐκ θεῶν τὰ μῶρα καὶ γέλοια χρὴ
χανόντα κλαίειν ὕστερ᾽

One of the conclusions of such retrospection as I have undertaken in the past
few years is of understanding the deeds and the intolerant striving of my
extremist decades as reprehensible. Another conclusion concerns my own
reprehensible character. Yet another concerns my hubris, or perhaps more
correctly my stupidity born of arrogance and fanaticism resulting in a failure, a
refusal, to learn from our thousands of years old human culture of pathei mathos.
For such a learning would have placed me and my extremism – me as a
masculous talking-mammal – in a supra-personal context, providing a
knowledge of those deeds and that striving as having the opposite effect of what
I intended or arrogantly believed they would achieve, and of only inflicting,
causing, more and more unnecessary suffering.

This supra-personal context is the Cosmic Perspective: of the reality of our
individual selves as but one fragile mortal short-lived biological life-form on one
planet orbiting one star in one galaxy in a Cosmos of billions of galaxies; of our
nations, our national cultures – and everything we manufacture or bring into-
being or presence, from ideas to ideologies to religions to cities to
industries to products to archetypes – being not only by their φύσις subject to
change and transmutation but also having a certain limited life span, be such in
terms of years, decades, centuries, or millennia; of how our pride in our
achievements or in our presencings, individual or collective – and such
achievements/presencings themselves – should be considered in the context of
the possibility of sentient life, some probably more advanced than us, on other
planets in our own galaxy and in the billions of galaxies in the Cosmos; of how
all life on our own planet, just like ourselves, is fragile, changing, and subject to
extinction; and of how what we, as individuals, do or do not do affects or can
affect other living beings.

For the Cosmic Perspective is an empathic awareness of not only our place in
the Cosmos but also of the affective and acausal connexions that bind all life, on
this planet and elsewhere in the Cosmos, and be such life sentient or otherwise.
And it is this empathic awareness which, according to my mutable
understanding, can provide us with a personal appreciation of the numinous
sans the abstractions, the theology, the cosmogony, the dogma, and sans the
God/gods, of an organized religion.

My hubriatic error in those extremist decades was essentially two-fold: (i) to
aspire to bring-into-being some-thing that would not and could not, in
centennial terms (let alone in millennial or cosmic terms) endure; and (ii) to use
violence and incite hatred, intolerance, and killing, in order to try and presence
that causal some-thing…

For me, there is a knowing of how limited and fallible my knowledge and
understanding are, combined with an intangible intimation of some-thing
possibly existing which is so abstruse that any and all attempts – at least by me –
to meld it into words, and thus form and confine it into some idea or ideas,
would miss or distort its essence. An intimation of what terms such as ‘acausal’
and ‘numinous’ (and even θεός/θεοί) do little to describe, hinting as such terms
do of externalities – of an ‘out there’ – whereas this some-thing is an intrinsic
part of us, connecting us to all life, human, terran, and otherwise, and thus
reveals our φύσις – our relation to beings and Being – behind the appearance
that is our conception of our separate self. An intimation thus of our brief
causality of mortal life being only one momentary microcosmic presencing of
that-which we it seems have a faculty to apprehend, and a that-which which
lives-on both before and after our brief moment of apprehended causal life.”

-David Myatt, One viator among so many (2014).

-Beldam, 128 yf

Thurhfaran & Meterwyrtha

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I am aware that I hinted at walking away for good in previous articles. The philosophical journeying that imbued my esoteric path is something that is part of who I am, something that will always move and crackle, seeking to take a specific form. I am also aware that such thoughts, such investigations will always manifest themselves in one way or another but my heart tells me that I have accomplished what I needed to accomplish on such front, at least for now. I have no other ways to express and share what I wanted to express and I long to venture toward some other projects that have been put aside for too long.

Complementary to ‘An Unfolding of Physis’, I present to you my final wordings concerning my humble and most likely underwhelming conclusions after over a decade of honest and authentic esoteric peregrinations. Conclusions because, from this day on, there will be very little attention spent on the form of things, on the language, on the denotatum. And so in a way, we could say that this second decade of esoteric journeying will have the aroma of practicality, of artful pursuits, of the wordless martial training, of the wyrdful traveling. Such things, I will keep on sharing with you in one way or another as my heart sees fit. Apart from that, there will no longer be a distortion of the essence of things via the weak intermediary of language. This is my final stand against manufactured abstractions and my final invitation for individuals to live an exeatic life and find whatever it is that they ultimately find by following their heart and learning from adversity.

Here is Thurhfaran, a booklet of about 115 pages to go along with my poetry compilation, Meterwyrtha. Thurhfaran will be available in two identical versions albeit for the cover. One edition ‘Numinous’, the other ‘Sinister’. Both Thurhfaran and Meterwyrtha will release the exact same day as soon as the pandemic restrictions are removed and I am able to order a proof read. I put my heart in this final chapter and it is my hope that it will meet your expectations.

-Beldam

Points of Consideration

numinous way

 

Important Notice(s):  The ensemble of my philosophy was always very Myattian in essence. It was also heavily inspired by analytical philosophers such as Wittgenstein & Nelson Goodman along with several other mystics I had the opportunity to meet over the years but what changed me the most on a personal level was the post 2012 writings & poetry of David Myatt. Whether Myatt is or isn’t Anton Long is irrelevant to what the Order of Nine Angles has or doesn’t have to offer to a practitioner. Such a knowledge would only be a matter of form, not of essence because what truly matters deep down is what each individuals find for themselves. Thus, it will not be surprising that those fallible points that I live by are greatly similar to what is described in the Philosophy of Pathei Mathos. I am always reluctant to structure my life in written ‘points’ because it implies a certain limitedness and it is easy to commit logical fallacies but I felt like I had to write this, considering the recent events. You can read the Press Release of David Myatt here:

https://davidmyatt.wordpress.com/press-release-2/

1-I reject all Political Forms as Abstractions and thus consider myself Apolitical. My very own Pathei-Mathos and journey has led me to believe that the solution is not political and that politics are meant to create a “Separation of Otherness” which in turn, causes unnecessary sufferings.

2- I reject all Religious Forms as Abstractions and thus consider myself a Seeker and nothing more. My very own Pathei-Mathos and journey has led me to study many aspects of Religion(s) but it is my belief that they do not adequately presence the Numinous and often corrupt more than they reveal.

3- I reject all Ideologies as Abstractions and thus consider myself without Aeonic Ideals. My very own Pathei-Mathos and journey has led me to study the Philosophy of Language at University which – along with the Post 2012 writings of David Myatt – led me to certain personal conclusions about the nature human language and our propensity for manufacturing abstractions. None of such abstractions ever allow us to understand reality or the cosmos in a satisfactory fashion.

4- The preferred mode of existence that I seek and try to manifest for myself is very comparable to the Rounwytha Way presented in the Order of Nine Angles. That is, a peaceful rural life in “propria persona”, surrounded by family, loved ones and nature where simplicity and aural traditions prevail.

5- Somnium Scipionis by Cicero revealed to me that – The dreams of grandeur(s) that men entertain are vain and selfish attempts at placing themselves above others. I hold no such desires and I hope that my legacy is remembered only by my loved ones before I return to the earth. I thus reject abstractions such as Vindex, the Galactic Imperium & the Code of Kindred Honour which creates a Separation of Otherness and posit certain individuals as superior compared to others.

6- Nothing of what I have attempted to bring about, share, inspire or transmit to others is new. It has all been discovered, discussed and pontificated about thousands of years ago. I am thus not original, special, superior or different in any regards. I was simply inspired by the ideas and attempts of others, primarily David Myatt which tragic journey opened my eyes to what is truly important in life.

7- No one should be judged according to an abstractive measure. Everyone should be judged and wordlessly known in the immediacy of the moment. Such a knowing is provided by temperance and empathy and reveals who is motivated honorably and who isn’t. While not perfect, such a knowing is still far superior to the generalization and separation of otherness that Politics & Religions provide.

8- Wu-Wei should be observed in all things. One should know when it is time to heal and when it is time to cull. Such a knowing is provided by discipline and empathy and should be applied in every spheres of our existence. It is required in all things: Taking care of a garden, of a sick animal, of a toxic relationship (…)

9- The pillars of existence and the most important elements of life are as follow in no particular order: Love, Loyalty, Honor, Temperance, Compassion, Family, Friends and Empathy (…) Do not let any abstractions convince you otherwise and do not let the words limit your wordless understanding of such things. The words do not matter; it is what they imply that does.

10- I firmly believe that one can go explore the deepest corners of hell if it means harvesting a better understanding of who they are. Howerver, that quest should never ever trample the right of others to get to know themselves at their own pace and how they see fit.

11- Men are fallible beings that are still somewhat ignorant of the meaningless role that they play in the grandeur of the Cosmos. In the light of such a consideration, I take myself with very little seriousness and seek only to become better and inspire others to attempt to do the same thing via multiple different mediums: Occultism, Meditation, Martial Arts, Creativity, Spirituality (…)

12- The Order of Nine Angles is an abstraction like any other. It is a causal form that changes, evolves and adapts depending on how you internalize it. It can produce mystical individuals or terrible individuals like any other abstraction. What makes it special and interesting is that it is “self-aware” of its abstractive nature and it is filled with traps (Labyrinthos Mythologicus). One such trap for example is the false dichotomy Sinister-Numinous which still prevails in the heart of most practitioners. Causal forms are meant to serves as tools for a time and then be transcended. The two individuals who went the furthest on the path are both living in reclusion now, focusing on love and family, disinterested completely by abstractions of any sort.

13- There is no secret to access or extract out of what the human mind can produce. Only illusions and false world versions that corrupt the essence of things which empathy can somewhat tap into. The most beautiful things are inaccessible by words and can only be felt and experienced in a volatile fashion.

14- The Occult & Spirituality as a whole is often dependent on abstractions to fuel itself such as our natural inclination to name certain seasons after gods and goddesses for example. The Rounwytha Way is interesting because it offers a wordless alternative that is still appreciative of the acausal powers that seems to rule and influence us. Occultism & Spirituality can be practiced and developed in many different avenues that do not require the intervention of abstractions and language. That is precisely part of the process itself. The practitioner will and should come to certain conclusions about the nature of reality and what is and is not necessary over the course of his journey.

15- Respect others, for their species of time is different than yours. Do not seek to forcibly show or share something with someone that is not receptive. There are enough information’s in a lifetime for someone to come to their own conclusions.

Beldam

Intuition, Reason & Choice

real 2

Important Notice(s): This article is mainly inspired by dialogues in the Matrix Trilogy and years of reflections on the matter. The trilogy contains great metaphors that will help explain my stance more easily instead of just stretching words into meaning something that they do not. Words won’t ever be enough to make sense of concepts such as reason and intuition but I will humbly try and make sense out of it all as much as I can. 

Oracle (Intuition)

The Intuition is featured as the Oracle in the movie and it is the first attribute of human experience that Neo has to go through. This is immensely significant since at that point in the story, Neo has not yet chosen to be the one. In fact, his mind is still so attached to the Matrix that he does not even have an ounce of Faith that he is the ‘One’. That Faith is awakened in him via the intervention of Morpheus (Which is a literal personification of faith because Morpheus would believe in Neo no matter what, even if it meant that he must die for his beliefs).

Interestingly, intuition is also the first thing that awakens itself in human experience. If we walk in the forest at night and we hear a threatening noise, our intuition kicks in and forces our mind to imagine specific things that require the intervention of reason to become logical at all.

In the Matrix, the Oracle is a program that is part of the system. This is not to be taken literally in the movie but rather metaphorically. The Oracle is an attribute of the human experience and it cannot be fully trusted because it is unreliable and leads us toward choices(Some good, some bad). Hence why the Oracle sees that Neo is the one but wont reveal it to him until he makes the conscious choice to be. Initially, Neo rejects that possibility because he does not know himself sufficiently to make that choice but he starts believing and having faith when he goes to save Morpheus and ultimately, he manages to go beyond the limits of intuition because he manages to save Morpheus without dying in the process. The Oracle (Intuition) had told him that he would have to make a choice: Die and save Morpheus or let Morpheus perish and reset the Matrix. This is the first hint that the choice(s) that we make are beyond the frontiers of intuition because intuition is only a fallible guiding force and nothing more. It can predict and emit hypothesis but it can’t understand the choices that are made.

In this scene, the Oracle illustrate her powers of predictions and shows Neo that without our capacity to choose, nothing can come to be. Not even Love, for even if love charms us in unexplainable ways, we ultimately decide to engage in that love. She tells him all that he wants to hear so that he can discover for himself what it means to be-come the one. Interestingly again, it is Trinity that somehow, helps Neo becomes the ‘One’ by kissing him and bringing him back from death. Love is the answer throughout the whole trilogy because it is what Neo chooses no matter what Intuition and Reason tells him to choose.

The Oracle First Conversation with Neo

In this scene, Neo comes to the realisation that existence is not so much about making choices but about understanding the choices that we make. The oracle is not fully trustworthy because it is only a feature of human consciousness and it can be superseded by our capacity to choose as wisely as we can, how we should proceed in life. It’s not about erasing intuition and reason because you can’t, it’s about overcoming them through will and using them wisely, even though we can’t truly comprehend what they are.

The Oracle Second Conversation with Neo

The Architect (Reason)

The logical program of the Matrix is represented by the Architect. Unless human beings are precipitated in choosing rapidly right after their intuition kicks in (In the case of a mass shooting for example where someone has two seconds to make a choice), reason manifest itself to choose more wisely and accurately.

So if you hear a noise in the woods at night, intuition convinces you that it could be horrific or surreal in nature but then reason dissipates such instinctive fears and starts to make sense of what the threat could be. The only problem with reason is that it can only be concerned with the cold, calculated and functional nature of events and cant comprehend the abstract and subjective features that the human brain has to juggle with.

In the movie, Neo is faced with yet  another choice that implies sacrifice when he talks to the Architect: Save Trinity (The love of his life) or reset the Matrix. The Architect, via mathematics, predict that it is an impossibility that Neo accomplishes both because reason is unable to understand the deeper layers of what it means to be human. It sees love and such concepts as foolish and imperfect because Mathematics and Logic cant explain subjective concepts such as love, compassion, honor (…) Against all odds, Neo manages to save Trinity (Until when she dies in episode 3) and end the war. At this point, Neo, via his choice to prioritize love above all other concepts, managed to go beyond both Reason & Intuition.

This scene with the Architect is fascinating because the Architect says Neo is harmony perfected apart from one variable that’s an uncorrectable anomaly (his specific love for Trinity that is stronger than anything). This anomaly is only so in the eyes of the Architect (Reason) because he can’t comprehend from a logical standpoint human emotions such as love, sacrifice and desires. He can predict them or expect them to manifest themselves but the choices that Neo makes are only understandable for him via a calculated approach. Most of what humans experience is not calculatable, especially not love. The Architect, in the end, was also wrong and the choices that Neo made, proved to be right, against all odds.

Neo & The Architect Conversation

Reason & Intuition are simply words and fluctuating features of our human ensemble. They exist to help us choose and understand our choices as we go along with them.

The Oracle tells Neo that no one can see beyond a choice that they do not understand. Not even the chosen one and this is the most important portion of the three movies. Neo is representing the whole human condition & existence because his journey is all about making choices that he slowly comes to understand, thus understanding himself better in the process and accepting his fate. It is impossible to live solely in an intuitive fashion and it is impossible to live solely in a logical fashion because these two core components often overlap each others to the point where it is hard to know which one is guiding us and at what moment. But our choices are what defines us as human beings and such choices are not limited by the influence(s) of reason and intuition. Sometimes we do not understand why we choose a certain path, a certain person or a certain belief system but it cant ever be encompassed in our two fallible features anyway so there is nothing left for us but to explore through experience and discover our own answers.

This final scene between Neo & the Oracle is the most important because Neo realises that the truth was not disclosed to him, even though intuition (Oracle) led him toward that truth because he was not ready to see it (he did not sufficiently knew himself). Our heart knows what it wants and what it chooses most of the time but we are often not ready to acknowledge and it and take responsibility for such a choice. The Oracle proceeds to discredit the Architect for his inability to see beyond choices because of its cold, calculated nature which is an interesting point brought forth by the movie since it seems to posit that Intuition is often neglected and replaced by reason which is often time more trusted, even for subjective matters. Reason is valid for causal problems but useless for acausal problems.

Final conversation between the Oracle & Neo

Finally, the great existential question of the Matrix is also metaphorical (Can Zion be saved?). It echoes to human destiny and Neo wants to know if he will be able to fulfil his destiny and accomplish what he was meant to accomplish. The Oracle does not know, the Architect does not know because Intuition and Logic can’t make sense of such a thing. We have to assume our choices and live with them no matter what and discover for ourselves if they lead us to where we were meant to go. Neo ultimately succeeds in accomplishing his life work. Not because of a logical standpoint, not because of being led solely by intuition but because he chose to fight for what was true to his heart. Smith has no heart and thus, no purpose, he lacks all the numinous elements that makes us human and so he is inhuman and artificial.

Agent Smith & Neo


Intuition -> Choice = Dangerous because reason did not have the time to filter the possibilities before acting on them. This is the world of rapid choices and instincts which is how most animals are going about in nature.

Intuition -> Reason -> Choice = The Normal course of action for most human beings. It is still fallible but it is often based on the functional world of facts and evidence which allows for a better series of decisions.

Intuition -> Choice -> Faith = This is the pathway of religiosity which is represented in the movies by Morpheus. He blindly believes no matter if there is ground for such a belief or there is not. That pathway is dangerous and unreasonable because unverified beliefs are slippery life models.

 

-Beldam

The War Ritual (Abattu)

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Conflict; the clashing of visions and destinies. The attempt by others to wrest away the Destiny of one individual and thus disrupt the greater Wyrd. A clouding of vision that creates doubts, lack of direction, susceptibility to outside forces and possibly, if insight is lost, the renouncing of a quest. The hardship imposed by the consequence of actions, but by the suffering such striving imposes. Wisdom – and Destiny – may be attained. Awareness of those factors – such as other people – that may fulfill Destiny, and the hard practical realities of striving to create this fulfillment. Sadness and wisdom and creativity through loss.


The name Gaspé comes from the Mi’kmaq word gespe’g, meaning “end”, referring to the end of the land and overall, this Dark Pathway left me incredibly confused and dreamy, as if I was intoxicated with too much beauty at ounce. My state of mind was foggy, unclear and very intuitive in nature. My dreams were mainly sequences of beautiful and touching events and when I would awake, I needed to rapidly gather my strength and focus for the task to come (driving over seven hours a day was not unusual at all).

I am currently at an important crossroad in my life where my professional career is about to be launched and what will now be sowed will heavily impact what will be reaped in the upcoming years. There is very little room for mistakes and for wasting time on mundanities and so I am feeling in a hurry to become the best version of who I can be. Interestingly, this is my 14th Dark Pathway, which means I have 2/3 of them done over the last decade. All of them were performed during very important and significant spiritual events and Abattu left me feeling more uncertain than any of the previous ones. This suggests many things but mainly that something crucial is missing from my existence which is creating a turmoil in my Physis. I have yet to discover what it is but deep down, I have a very good idea of what it could be. I also experienced the full force of what it means to experience a ‘living’ ritual without the necessity for abstractions and while I had done such journey before, something was different this time. It’s nearly like parts of my soul were scattered throughout these coasts that truly seem to be infinite. The cold winds of the north are accompanying you everywhere and no matter where you look, you are left in awe before this empire of clouds & blueish waves. You drive ever forward on a slithering coastal road, protected by mountains and steep hills that challenge your engine at every turn and sometimes, the trees give up and the horizon opens itself to a sight so immensely beautiful that human words can make nothing out of it.

Sacred Tools:

  • Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron 
  • Tarot Deck

This journey was a meditation on Wyrd and on how we should decide to invest our time and our enegry. It was a like a door that opens inwardly, inviting us to look at what we have, what we want and what we can make manifest with the time we are gifted with. Such introspection is always conflictual in nature, especially when looking at it from the standpoint of a young man reaching complete independence and heading toward a more settled life (Wu-Wei). What felt apparent to me during that journey was that love and friendship are definitely the most important elements of life. Feeling at home into someones arms, spreading love through honorable and fair actions or seeing sights of wonder in the company of a loyal trusted friend has no price and can’t be compared to anything that is born in the fallible mind of men.

There is also a vivid awareness of how species of times affect us all differently and deeply. In four days, we have seen the ocean, we traveled through foggy forests and rural villages. We meditated on the most ancient rocky formations in the world and we bathed our face with this cold water that purifies much more than the skin. We met all sorts of individuals and learned their stories. We’ve experienced the comforting rays of the sun and the anguish of the twilight drive, we barely avoided hurricane ‘Dorian’ and saw the rainy clouds give room to a sky so blue it seemed empty. We were something sharing silence, somethings laughter and some other time, an amazingly fitting piece of music.

Like any transition, nothing much makes sense for now and I have yet to mentally and emotionally make sense of those four days that felt like twenty. 2500Km/24h Drive is a great deal of images to shelve and the upcoming days will be spent resting and meditating further more on whats to come.

Whatever lies ahead, beyond this dense fog that currently leaves me in a blissful state of acceptance -like a child in the arms of a mother-, I simply know it is going to be wyrdful. Only then, will I truly understand what all of this meant and why it left me so humbled and so wordlessly alive in a midst of natural and inexplicable beauties.

There’s so much I want to say
But all the words just slip away…

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An Humble Analysis of Feond

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Important Notice(s): In my free time, I have been reading/studying with my very limited knowledge, the new text called ‘Feond’. I admit that I have been quite passionate about this new compendium since it seems to add details to certain topics that I had previously studied in the past. I tried to delve deeper with the clues that the ‘Wyrdsisters’  (Or Rachael Stirling) left for us to study and perhaps, discover something essentially important about the Greco-Roman Weltanschauung of the Order of Nine Angles. This article will go over some points to which I will add my discoveries or my thoughts, noting less and nothing more. I want to thank the ‘Wyrdsisters’ for uploading this document and thank whoever compiled it together. Perhaps in the future, my latest effusions on this blog, will be added to a more complete edition of ‘An Unfolding of Physis’ but considering how much time I spend on such matters, it is very doubtful.

The Fable of the Nine Muses

Very early in the compendium, we are given a fascinating origin to the term ‘Labyrinthos Mythologicus’:

“The term is a combination of (i) a transliteration of the Greek λαβύρινθος –
whence the Latin labyrinthus – and (ii) the post-classical Latin mythologicus, the
former word giving rise to the English terms labyrinth {1} and labyrinthine, and
the latter word having been used in the book Mythologiae by the post-Roman
grammarian Fabius Fulgentius (c. 6th century CE, a modern edition of whose
works was included in the Bibliotheca Teubneriana of 1898 published in
Leipzig), and used by him to suggest “myth-making; creating or concerned with
mythology or myths; a mythical narrative.”

-Feond, Page 25.

Interestingly, I researched a bit about this man called ‘Fulgentius the Mytographer’ and discovered some interesting elements that echo to certain Greco-Roman myths that might have influenced the Order of Nine Angles. While most fables are quite interesting and beautiful, I was particularly absorbed by the Fable of the Nine Muses which I could not help but associate to the Nine Angles of the tradition or the Seven Spheres plus the Two Immortal Realms:

“The seven of the hebdomad, plus the one of the ‘ogdoadic physis’ mentioned here, plus the one (also mentioned here) of what is beyond even this ‘ogdoadic physis’.

This ‘becoming united with theos’, however, does not mean that mortals ‘become god’ or become ‘a living god’. Instead, as Pœmandres has made clear (for example in section 26) it means transcending, beyond mortal death, to the two immortal realms that exist beyond the seven spheres, one of which is that of the ‘ogdoadic physis’, and both of which are described in terms of emanations of theos.”

-Perusing The Seven Fold Way: Historical Origins Of The Septenary System Of The Order of Nine Angles. 

In Greek mythology, the word ‘Mousa’ is associated with art, history, literature, inspiration and all those avenues that are explored by scholars and poets. The muses are ruled by Apollo who is also ruling over music, poetry, light and prophecy. Interestingly, the concept of memory and knowledge is central to the muses since they are born out of the union of Zeus & Mnemosyne. Fulgentius has the following thing to say about them in his allegory:

“They also assign to Apollo the nine Muses and add him to the Muses as a tenth one, for the reason that there are ten organs of articulation for the human voice, whence Apollo is also depicted with a lyre of ten strings. Also Holy Scripture speaks of a psaltery of ten strings. Speech is produced with the four teeth, that is, the ones placed in front, against which the tongue strikes; and if one of them were missing it would necessarily give forth a whistle rather than speech; two lips like cymbals, suitably modulating the words; the tongue, like a plectrum as with some pliancy it shapes the breathing of the voice; the palate, the dome of which projects the sound; the throat tube, which provides a track for the breath as it is expelled; and the lungs, like a sack of air, exhaling and reinhaling what is articulated. There you have the explanation of the nine Muses and Apollo himself as given by Anaximander of Lampsacenum and Zenophanes of Heraclea. Others, like Pisander, the teacher of medicine, and Euximenes in his book Theologumena, confirm this explanation. But I also say that the nine Muses are the stages of learning and knowledge, as follows:

First is Clio, standing for the first conception of learning, for cleos is the Greek for fame, whence Homer: “We heard only a rumor”; and elsewhere, “He heard the mighty rumor from afar in Cyprus.” Since no one seeks knowledge except that by which he may advance the honor of his reputation, Clio is named first, that is the conception of the search for knowledge. Second is Euterpe, whom in Greek we call well pleasing, because it is the first step to seek knowledge, the second to delight in what you seek. Third is Melpomene, for melenpieomene, that is, applying persistent thought, as it is the first step to find the need; the second, to delight in what you find needful; the third, to pursue the study of what you delight in. Fourth is Thalia, that is, growth, as if she were called tithonlia, that is, putting forth shoots, whence Epicharmus, the writer of comedies, says in his comedy Dipholus: “When he doesn’t see the shoots appear he is consumed with hunger.” Fifth is Polyhymnia, for polymnemen, as we say, making much memory, because memory is necessary after growth. Sixth is Erato, that is, euronchomoeon, which in Latin we call finding the same, because after knowledge and memory it is right hat one should find something similar about oneself. Seventh is Terpsichore, that is pleasant filling, whence Hermes in his book Opimandra says: “Both from a fill of food and an empty body” – since after finding you must also discriminate and judge what you have found. Eighth is Urania, that is, heavenly, for after judging, you select what to say and what to reject: to choose the useful and reject the inferior is a heavenly ability. Ninth is Calliope, that is, she of the excellent voice, whence Homer also says: “The voice of the goddess speaking.” This then is to be the order: first, to find the need for instruction; second, to delight in what you find needful; third, to pursue what you delight in; fourth, to grasp what you pursue; fifth, to remember what you grasp; sixth, to discover in yourself something resembling what you remember; seventh, to judge what you discover; eighth, to discriminate in what you judge; ninth, to make known in attractive form what you select.”

-Fulgentius the Mytographer, Translated by Leslie George Whitbread, Book I.

Interestingly, the influence(s) of these nine goddesses are quite causal in nature and I would even dare say that they influence matters related directly to the ego and how it processes knowledge from a very human standpoint. Perhaps Apollo is the ‘tenth’ because he is the bringer of light or rather, the synthesis of this ascension toward a more numinous form of knowledge or inspiration. Without a doubt, it is easy for any serious student of the Seven-Fold-Way to make connexions here, especially considering the feminine/muliberal archetypes that are displayed. Those goddesses are the pathway to knowledge and inspiration and act in a suble way to lead men toward certain realizations when it comes to their experiences/creations. If anything, this once again prooves how deeply important classical Greco-Roman texts are, especially in the light of the Order of Nine Angles.

My hyptohesis is reinforced by the following statement about the Nine Angles:

“From the 1970s on the O9A also used the term ‘angle’ as a synonym for
emanations (of the acausal in the causal), that is, as a protrusion or projection
of the acausal into the causal (cf. the Armenian ankiwn). The term angle as a
protrusion or projection is etymologically valid.
Thus the term angle even in ordinary usage meant and implied more than some
simple Euclidean intersection of two or more lines. The term angle – ἀγκών
(bend, nook) – occurs in Iamblichus in relation to the character, and
characteristics, of various gods, and is contrasted with the monad signifying
Apollo. Interestingly, in Latin the term – angulus – is, metaphorically, a “hiding or
lurking place”.

-Feond, Page 46.

There is thus, an obvious Nexion, a fluxion, a flow or rather an intrusion of something acausal (the influences of certain forces) into our causal capacities (perception, empathy, feelings & leanings. If Apollo is the monad, then in the context of the ‘Fable of the Nine Muses’, he perhaps represents the Ogdoadic Physis or what lies beyond it. Considering how important art, sculpture, poetry and speech craft was to the Greco-Roman culture, it is only right to assume that a beautiful poem, a mathematically crafted sculpture or a pleasant discourse could tap into some sort of numinous bridge that elevates the mind to something divine or truthful. That is what is described here by Fulgentius. The Nine Muses are the nine stages of knowledge and much like the seven spheres with the two additional immortal realms, there is an ascension there that leads to something more divine.

Feond purposefully leads us toward an interesting crossing between classical texts, Order of Nine Angles MSS & David Myatt translations. As I have always observed on this blog, all of these three different avenues, seems to be entwined on many regards and complete each others beautifully, especially considering the mystical, poetical and tragic life of David Myatt:

In the Numinous Metaphysics chapter of his 2017 monograph Tu Es Diaboli
Ianua, David Myatt iconoclastically wrote that in his view “the numinous is
primarily a manifestation of the muliebral and can be apprehended through a
personal, an interior, balance between masculous and muliebral.” {4}
He then asks the important and relevant question as how can the “numinous
balance between masculous and muliebral be metaphysically expressed, given
that the culture of pathei-mathos has moved us, or can move us, beyond anthropomorphic deities, whether male or female; beyond myths and legends;
beyond reliance on texts regarded as sacred and/or as divinely inspired; and
even beyond the need for denotatum and religion.”

If one accepts Myatt’s understanding of the numinous as “primarily a
manifestation of the muliebral” then it follows that all extant representations of
the numinous, from Christianity, to Islam, to Judaism, to Buddhism, to most
contemporary pagan revivals, as well as ancient Greco-Roman paganism, do not
or did not adequately presence the numinous.

For such a muliebral presencing would, according to Myatt, be manifest in “a
predominance of female deities; or in a dominant female deity; in legends and
myths which celebrate muliebral virtues, such as empathy.”
Hence a modern and metaphysical presencing of the numinous would be
“beyond the need for denotatum,” {5} whether the denotatum be a named
anthropomorphic divinity or named divinities, or whether such denotatum
involves texts, since it is manifest “in a personal weltanschauung and not in a
religion; has no hierarchy; no creed, no article or articles of faith; and no texts
whether written or aural.”

Thus the numinous is not and cannot be – as Rudolf Otto argued in his
Das Heilige – manifest in the Old and New Testaments of Christianity (Das
Heilige, chapters X, XI); nor is it manifest in the writings and sermons of
preachers such as Martin Luther (Das Heilige, chapters XII); nor in anything –
ancient or modern – which involves ‘worship’ (Das Heilige, chapter XIII ff). Nor
even in some philosophical theory and thence described by a term such as a
priori (Das Heilige, chapter XVII).

Which would seem to lead us back to Myatt’s understanding of empathy as a
human faculty which cannot exist beyond the personal horizon of the individual,
with the knowing gleaned by such a faculty limited to the immediacy-of-themoment
{6}. As a human faculty, it does not involve denotata, and is personal
and individual {7}. For empathy “reveals or can reveal the nature (the physis) –
sans abstractions/ideations/words – of Being, of beings, and of Time.” 

There is thus a pleasing symmetry here between Myatt’s metaphysics – as
manifest in his recent pagan monographs Tu Es Diaboli Ianua and Classical
Paganism And The Christian Ethos {10} – and the esotericism and praxis of the
essentially pagan O9A {11} and which symmetry might explain why some O9A
folk consider that Myatt as Rounwytha and Mage is now living the “final
apprehension” of The Unity beyond the abstractions of both sinister and
numinous having discovered, after fifty years on a Faustian quest, Lapis
Philosophicus.

-Feond, Page 37-38.

The Rounwytha option, seems to be quite faithful to what Mr Myatt & Mr Moult seems to have discovered over their exeatic and esoteric journey. I humbly believe that a restoration of muliebral virtues could lead to a more empathically correct approach to conflicts and a greater awareness of the magical layers that animates nature & beings. These virtues do not need to be associated to goddess or female deities necessarily, I believe they can be experienced through the power of love and human emotions, without the necessity to name them or associate them with any particular archetypes but there is definitely something about the ancient cults of the Greeks & the Roman that seemed more balanced and not as definitive as to what is the origin of creation. The magnificent library of classical Greek authors is a testament to those ancient cults & those ancients beliefs/values. Deities back then were neither ‘Numinous’ or ‘sinister’, they were an authentic affirmation of both. They could reward or punish at will and stories such as ‘Oedipus Tyrannus’ or ‘Antigone’ perfectly represents that. Those Greco-Roman roots are immensely important, not only because it gives credibility to the template of the Order of Nine Angles but most of all because it points to a more genuine form of witchraft that is not diluted in Christian principles. Witchcraft has to be authentic, without compromise, wordless, natural and intuitive to the cosmic powers.

“However, the dark reality is that the acausal allows for no such safety and no such mundane control. It cannot be disposed of if some urban git believes it is no longer useful for them or ceases “to believe in it”. It is, most importantly, not a creation of the human mind, of our consciousness. Not a matter of human perception. For, acausally, there is no subject distinct from, separate from, an object. For that distinction implies the separation of causality (between subject and object) and the linear movement of causality (some-thing passing from subject to object and vice versa) and also implies a perception (based on abstractions, such as categories) as to why the subject is or or may be different from the object. Thus, acausally, there is no perception of an object by a subject, such as ourselves. There is thus no “consciousness” to be individually aware of either such an object or of the subject itself (such as what causally we consider ourselves). There is not even any “change” – or progression or development – since there is no consciousness to perceive it and no causal linearality to measure such change.

For, acausally, there is no language as we currently understand language – because such language almost invariably (and especially Western languages) require or assume (imply) a copula , which itself implies the aforementioned distinction between some subject and some object, between subject and predicate. Between one existent and another existent, or between one subject and some object with some quality (or category) that has become to be associated with that object. How then can we know and understand the acausal? To be pedantic (or to be esoterically precise), “we” cannot – since there is no you or I or we to apprehend it. But, less esoterically, and thus somewhat exoterically, we can only currently (outside of such Esoteric Arts as dark-empathy) apprehend the acausal by its affects on our causal realm where we have our existence, and thus the most significant affect of the acausal in the causal is, as mentioned earlier, Life itself – the acausal energy presencing in our causal continuum that animates matter and makes that matter a living entity, from the microscopic cell to we human beings to Nature. Thus, we do not need “explanations” – or attempts at explanation – of the acausal by such causal things as “chaos”, or so-called chaos theory, quantum mechanics, particle physics, or by reference to any currently existing -isms such as some gnostic or Buddhist teaching or some exposition of some gnostic or Buddhist tenet, or even by some mathematical representation (given the current causal nature of maths).

All such explanations or interpretations or comparisons are irrelevant; unhelpful; unnecessary. To know and understand the acausal we just have to engage with it; experience it. No theories; no explanations. We have to cultivate, in ourselves, the faculties of acausal knowing and dark-empathy [6]. We have to thus come to know those causally-dwelling beings beyond our own individual being: the being of archetypes, the being of Nature and the beings that a part of, and not separate from, either Nature or that illusion of apprehension which is of our individual self. We have to become Adepts of The Dark Arts: practitioners of acausal sorcery. We have to evoke, invoke, to presence, those living beings who dwell in the acausal dimensions and who represent a type of Life beyond our causal living. In brief, we have to live our life in a different way from ordinary mortals. Which is why we are following The Sinister Way, to The Abyss and to The Acausal Beyond.”

-Feond, Page 52.

To live a life that is different, is the ultimate gift a human being can manifest for himself. As it is mentioned in the ‘internal Adept’ description of the compendium, it does not matter if your life takes you toward certain elements which might appear to be ‘mundane’ in nature such as becoming professional in a career of striving to have a healthy family’s life. What is important is simply the attempt to live a poetical life, a tragical life, a complete life. Whatever you do, keep listening to the whispers of the muses and have respect for the hidden powers of the universe. What matters is not what is written, what is expected or what is perceived. What matters is that you forge your very own path.

Only then can abstractions be shattered and Physis unfold.

 

-Beldam

 

 

 

 

The Supra-personal

Entwined

 Empathy and pathei-mathos, however, wordlessly – sans denotatum, sans abstractions, sans a dialectic of contradictory opposites – uncover physis: our physis, that of other mortals, that of other living beings, and that of Being/Reality itself. Which physis, howsoever presenced – in ourselves, in other living beings, in Being – is fluxive, a balance between the being that it now is, that it was, and that it has the inherent (the acausal) quality to be.

This uncovering, such a revealing, is of a knowing beyond ipseity and thus beyond the separation-of-otherness which denotatum, abstractions, and a dialectic of opposites manufacture and presence. A knowing of ourselves as an affective connexion to other living beings and to Being itself, with Being revealed as fluxive (as a meson – μέσον  – with the potentiality to change, to develope) and thus which (i) is not – as in the theology of revealed religions such as Christianity and Islam – a God who is Eternal, Unchanging, Omnipotent, and (ii) is affected or can be affected (in terms of physis) by what we do or do not do.

This awareness, this knowing, of such an affective connexion – our past, our current, our potentiality, to adversely affect, to have adversely affected, to cause, to having caused, suffering or harm to other living beings – also inclines us or can incline us toward benignity and humility, and thus incline us to live in a non-suffering causing way, appreciate of our thousands of years old culture of pathei-mathos.

-David Myatt, Physis & Being, an Introduction to the Philosophy of Pathei Mathos.

My thoughts have been occupied lately by what should be the driving purposes of a being and if there should be any, apart from the ones outlined in the ‘Philosophy of Pathei Mathos’ which, interestingly, are not activities but rather, a collection of virtues to embrace.

The Supra-personal is – like many in the philosophy of pathei-mathos & the Order of Nine Angles – a concept against concepts. What I mean by that is that it tends to outline why certain human creations (abstractions, categories, labels, isms), are detrimental to our existence and our experience of life. The entire analytical philosophy does just that since it outlines the limitations of language to further show the weaknesses of philosophy as an activity of the mind rather than a direct ladder to some sort of truth.

Since abstractions, categories, ideologies & concepts have an obvious influence on how we live, anything supra-personal is by default related to the activities it depends upon. A good example of this would be a fervent political Marxist. The ideology he follows requires him to live according to a specific set of rules or beliefs which will in turn, lead him to act and participate a certain way in society.

What is offered by the Philosophy of pathei mathos (Numinous Way) & ultimately, the Order of Nine Angles after years of experiences, is a detachment from abstractions & fallacious opposites. This in turn, leads the practitioner to abandon certain activities since the illusionary barriers have been shattered. For example, the separation of otherness becomes so apparent to anyone involved in politics that the entire spectrum of activities associated to politics becomes much less appealing.

David Myatt’s philosophy is fascinating because it is an invitation towards humility, simplicity, dignity, fairness, kindness, empathy, compassion and silence. It is the end of ways, the end of any form of activities that could be harmful to other beings, be they human or animal in nature. It is about balance (Wu-Wei) and about not upsetting the cosmic fluxion and unity that permeates everything.

Interestingly, after many years of studies and practical experiences, the physis of my being changed drastically and I realized that all these things I used to cherish were empty of any importance: A Nietzschean world-view, the dualistic nature of good & evil, the desire for an absolute ideology that I could espouse for my entire life, the appeal of certain political parties, the desire for a solely sinister approach to spirituality (…)

The beautiful, mystical and ultimately tragic journey of David Myatt resonated so much with what I was inwardly discovering through my esoteric practices and my studies. Finally, after a long while, something simply changed and altered itself forever. Rituals became less and less frequent, meditation was pushed aside for months and the time wasted studying vain ideologies and conceptual avenues was spent instead living moments of immense beauty with friends, family and the love of my life. I became aware that the time you spend convincing yourself how life should be, how society should be, how spirituality should be, you simply fail to be ‘there’. You are somewhere else, inside yourself, hoping you could change everything and exchange it all for YOUR very own and personal limited perspective. Most people act upon these thoughts which invariably results in the separation of otherness, the upsetting of the natural fluxion and the lack of empathy so prevalent nowadays.

I humbly think that the ultimate conclusion one can ascend to in regard to their physis, their spiritual journey, is that we are microscopic beings in an infinite universe and we are hopelessly unaware of the mechanisms of creation or the meaning of existence. We are fallible beings with a very limited set of tools that barely allow us to function in a causal realm we understand very little about. We should stop taking ourselves so seriously, stop fantasizing that there is a superior motive to our existence and stop ‘building’ conceptual castles filled with abstractions to entertain ourselves through this oh so short life that we are gifted with.

Nothing is more spiritual, nothing is more valuable and nothing is more ritualistic than a life lived in conscience of Wu-Wei, surrounded by loved ones, without a second wasted in the labyrinths of the mind.

Love, Compassion, Tolerance, Fairness, Honor, Kindness, Empathy, Friendship…

Yes, they are concepts but the heart knows about them much better than the mind does. For the mind can only understand them by applying them to a paradigm and human paradigms do not work when it comes to the wordless because they are dependant on language to be grasped somewhat efficiently by the mind. Love is not love as it is defined by a dictionary, it is something beyond us that we attempted to describe as best as we could with our very limited means of perception and communication. Definitions do not make you a better person, what you do in accordance to what you feel in the immediacy of the moment does. You can choose to be emphatical, even if you do not really understand how empathy functions. You can choose to abandon yourself entirely to this mysterious and powerful process that we call ‘love’ even if you do not know what it truly is. It does not make it any less Magical.

In my admittedly fallible view, one of our many human problems – one of the great problems of our modern ways of life – is that there is too much noise, especially the noise of and from words, spoken, read and thought. Far far too many words spoken; far too much speaking, too little silent, interior, reflexion, especially among the natural peace of Nature where we can sense and know again in our stillness the acausal Time of the Cosmos.

For wisdom is not to be found in speeches, in political or social manifestos, tracts or books; nor in some political, religious, or social, theory or dogma. And especially not in some abstraction, some ideal.

Rather, wisdom is there to be discovered, within ourselves; others can only gently point or guide us toward this self-discovery, toward the necessary interior, quiet, reflexion – perhaps through some work of Art, or some sublime piece of music, some poignant literature; perhaps some poem; or perhaps by some noble deed done or some selfless personal love that needs no words to speak or advertise its wordless name.

-David Myatt, The Love That Needs No Words.

-Beldam, 2019