Sinister awakening – Nature as it is, raw and unaffected. That primal
awareness of the vibrance of life that possesses and creates the ‘accuser’,
that provokes acts that challenge the existence of the ‘sacred’. The real
meaning of liberation unchained by temporary abstract ideas; the laughter
of the savage, wild god. Terror to the uninitiated.
It was during a cold and watery afternoon. The snow was starting to melt slowly but surely and the forests were impracticable areas with drowned pathways. I headed in, confident with the last rays of the sun as a companion. The objects in my bag were banging against my lower back which made me smile slightly. I knew what I had to do…
After a few minutes of walk, I reached the end of the path. Water was everywhere and the few individuals that were there were forced to walk back. Going off-track, I ultimately found a dead tree that I crushed down and used as a bridge to reach the other side. My goal was to reach the dense part of the forest where a small current of water lies and perform my ritual there. Interestingly enough, that area looks very similar to the “Deofel tarot card”. The sun was nearly gone when I reached the fields. Not much snow remained there and herbs could be seen surfacing here and there along with grass but the soil was hard and still frozen. After a while, I managed to reach my chosen site. The forest was asleep in complete silence. I knew I was alone and would remain alone for as long as desired. I opted to settle on a fallen tree, very close to the little water current and opened my bag…
- Crystal Tetrahedron.
- Dead animal specimens (field mouse & bird).
- Deofel & Shugara Pictures.
- Hunting Knife.
- The sinister tradition book.
- Tarot Deck.
- A Pair of Gloves.
Necromantic in essence, it is no wonder why I brought a picture of the stale queen for this ritual. With small needles, I pinned both pictures to trees nearby. More and more, I was under the impression of attracting something otherworldly as I aligned my two specimen on the tree I was sitting on. It was getting very dark and the visage of Shugara seemed to float in the shadows. Without wasting any time, I started vibrating intuitively while meditating both on: “the sinister awakening” proposed by the Deofel illustration and the acausal concept of “Vindex”. I was breathing heavily and my lungs were filled with the dark evening air of the winter woods. Stars were burning the sky, undisturbed by human lights… I was alone in raw nature.
Upon awakening from a state that I would qualify as gnosis, I pinned some candles in the snow all around and lit them. The gloomy face of the stale queen had clawing shadows dancing on it and the little water current nearby was emitting relaxing natural sounds. Feeling relaxed and focused, I took my gloves along with my hunting knife and gutted the specimens open carefully, honoring their earthly passage and showing gratitude for their now acausal participation in my ritual. A rotten stench enveloped the area… I started chanting the name of Shugara repeatedly while holding my crystal quartz tetrahedron high toward the stars. I felt completely energised and free…
With this completed, I cut both the bird legs and the mouse’s tail and kept them in a little bag as ingredients for later usage. Their heads and remains were buried under the massive tree where the Shugara picture was pinned. I then took some time to read passages from the sinister tradition book and spread some tarot cards. After a while, I burned to dust the two pinned pictures and threw most of it in the little water current behind me. I blew the candles and cleaned my hunting knife while making sure I was not forgetting anything. For a few more minutes, I stood there, watching the glittering night sky, enchanted by its beauty and surrounded by the stench of death. While walking back, I got lost and ended up in the fields of a farmer, far away from my car. I had to spiral back to the road which took me two more hours to do. Completely lost in the wildest of woods with my intrusive steps awakening all sort of animals, I started laughing wildly like a savage god. Everything seemed to merge together:
“Sinister awakening – Nature as it is, raw and unaffected. That primal awareness of the vibrance of life that possesses and creates the ‘accuser’, that provokes acts that challenge the existence of the ‘sacred’. The real meaning of liberation unchained by temporary abstract ideas; the laughter of the savage, wild god. Terror to the uninitiated.”
In ecstasy, I started yelling “Vindex!”over and over again. The stench seemed to follow relentlessly, I was terrified to see something manifest itself behind the endless corridors of trees. It is the moon and the stars that guided me back that night and led me to my bed. There, washed and more alive than ever, I fell asleep and dreamed of pales figures hiding inside tree trunks…
-Beldam, 128 yf