Insight Role In a Cistercian Monastery

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Important notice(s): Even though the tradition considers insight roles to be rituals in themselves, I decided to put this article in the ‘order of nine angles’ section instead of the ‘rituals’ section along with my article ‘An ancient nexion’ which is also my adventure in a monastery in France. The reason for this decision is that there is an obvious emphasis on praxis in traditional satanism which results in philosophical awareness and of course, practical rituals. Thus, the experience itself, I felt, engendered ‘something(s)’ but could not be limited to a specific spectrum of the tradition. It was rather an experience that encompassed many things of what the tradition pushes you toward. It is also important to note that this insight role is fractal in nature. By this I mean that I am also taking lessons on certain sacred texts with a theologian at a local church and that I will go back to the monastery many times in the future…

I arrived in the early days of July and remained there for a few days with the commitment to go back every few months. To be honest, I had no desire to disrupt or embrace, all I wanted was to contemplate (perceiveration) and learn about myself. I also wanted to presence the divine through another medium and go beyond opposites. Simply be (dasein) in the experience itself and focus inwardly…

The monastery is a large and clean establishment located in the Canadian mountains. It is surrounded by a few kilometers long orchard and forests which lead to lakes. There is also a small village nearby that has many architectural qualities that could be compared to some of the villages found in England… Upon my arrival, I was greeted with immense respect and warmth by the monks and novices. Living in seclusion and silence most of the time, they proved to be unmatched empaths and father figures. They were also frighteningly knowledgeable on a variety of subjects such as; philosophy, history, science, psychology and obviously, religion. I had passionate metaphysical conversations with a few of them and the one that was responsible of the high chamber (where we stayed) seemed to have such a profound understanding of my φύσις that he brought to surface certain wounds of the past and healed them…

There was indeed a numinosity to this place, bathed in prayers and latin chants. Everyone was appreciative, hard working and kind at all time. Concepts such as competition, judgment, critique, dishonesty or hypocrisy never surfaced once. Being self-honest, I really felt that I was part of an authentic fraternity, not bound by the code of honor but by the code of love. They never tried to convert me or force me into their activities, quite the opposite. They would ask about my views concerning the divine, accept them entirely and try to assist me in my individual journey toward comprehension. I was given invaluable transmissions, some of them I have yet to assimilate entirely…

My favorite moments were spent in the mountains where a few miles long orchard was rising smoothly as if toward the clouds. There, I was accompanied by a pack of wild wolfs, eight to be precise. While they were savage and fierce hunters, they were not so with the monks but vigilance was always necessary. And so I wandered in the mountains with them for hours on end, sometimes even until sunset. Often, I would bring my crystal quartz tetrahedron and practice my sinister chants until most of them fell asleep, surrounding me or surrounding the massive tree I would rest on. For reasons I could not quite understand, the alpha would always stay near me and sleep at my side, most likely to ensure that young beta males would not try to intimidate me. Useless to say that my passion and joy of being in the fields, in complete loneliness with the predators became known quite rapidly and the monks never missed an occasion to tease me on my regular absence to some of the prayers. Truth is, I could walk up to fifteen kilometers a day with my companions without even me noticing it.

When in the monastery, I would also have fascinating conversations with a university student that specialized in Greek translation, thus assisting me with certain obscure words in my research and sharing insights. We would talk about anything pertaining to the occult but also specific historical events that concerned the Hellenic era or the paganus of the ancients spiritual traditions…

Another great event was during one of the hot morning, a few novitiates invited me to ran with them to a lake that was located two miles away from the monastery. Arrived there, we jumped in the cold water and swam a mile which was basically the entire lake. The location was completely desolated and seemed unknown from the rest of the world which, it seemed, added to my emotional cleansing…

Many things changed in me during my stay at this peculiar nexion and many others will during my future visits. It is as if the slowness, the rhythm, the particular numinosity of this environment is enervating in some ways. As if something is reversely appeased but something else, something more subtle and elevated is stimulated profoundly, preventing you from sleeping properly but still awakening you with complete vitality. The unnecessary is discarded and the essential, the authentic, is encouraged and harvested, bringing a powerful sense of completeness. A return to the origin (ἀρχὴ), an ourobouros that spiral back to the essence (ουσία) of what we are, which is a cosmic incumbency of the divine (θεός)…

Like brother Jacques told me with much wisdom; “My son, there is at first a thesis (διαισθάνομαι), then antithesis ( λόγος) and finally, synthesis (ἀληθέα). It is my intuition that you came here to prepare your synthesis.”

-Beldam, 128 yf

 

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