The earthing and spreading of energies. The hard truth of Nature – the dying time of one form to give way and birth to another. A causal form created to act as a focal point/channel for the fulfillment of Wyrd – the beginnings of a practical realization of strategies and aims. The Sinister Dialectic in action: by its dynamic nature a prelude to – and when realized a creator of – insight.
Bathed and comfortably dressed, I had prepared my altar and ritualistic environment accordingly. The intention of the ritual was not so much to draw the entire pantheon of the Order of Nine Angles but rather to just annihilate any ritualistic reflexes or expectations. That being said, I know what I want, what my aims are and how to achieve them but I this ritual was not meant as a stimulus like my Hel ritual. It was more like a complete openness, like someone off to drive without being aware of where he will end up and it worked beautifully. I did not realize it at first but the Nekalah Sigil became extremely similar to the Akoman archetype, the eye that is closed within (KIA) and awakens certain area of your psyche during the ritual. Wordlessness and intuition are the keywords here. There was no control, hardly any protection, I just gave in entirely and forced my mind into silence and darkness.
- Crystal Tetrahedron.
- Dried Rose Petals.
- Dark Tarot (Yellow & Black).
- Nekalah Sigil.
- The sinister tradition book.
- Black Onyx.
- Personal Intuitive Drawing.
- Shadow Box.
Candles were lit, incense quickly filled the entire room and loud, dark eerie music was making the walls vibrate. I was sitting on the ground in a comfortable meditative posture, reading the poem which is related to the Nekalah (Change), visualizing the images and the sigil for longer than expected. Then started the intuitive drawing. With my black pen, I closed my eyes and extinguished all incoming thoughts that kept popping in my head. I intuitively navigated toward a dark aspect of who I am, most likely to confront it and transmute it or perhaps, incorporate it. The dark drawing was taking an ominous form, like a masked woman, yelling into darkness. This process took a certain time to be completed and I forced myself to do it many times to ensure that only my intuition was at work, not my reason.
My work of horror finished, I then used a candle to burn the paper so it has a more tortured aesthetic and I then, stared at it in silence for a moment. Inspired, I started vibrating Nekalah (Ne-kah-lah) as it is suggested in the Sinister Tradition. I then proceeded to lay my drawing on my altar cloth (Pentagram) and drop dried roses petals so it relates both to the poem and the table of correspondence that I have, printed by my side. Satisfied, I open my shadow box which contains an energetically concentrated aspect of my self, meant to protect me during psychologically dangerous rituals. The box contains fingernails, teeth’s, images, hairs, souvenirs which all belongs to me. Whoever opens this box without my consent could face retaliations but tonight, it is wide open to ensure the preservation of my sanity.
I fell into trance for what seemed like an hour and I do not recall much of it, apart that it felt both enervating and comforting. After this long process, I focused on my crystal quartz tetrahedron and went on with a tarot spread. The ritual concluded with the counter-clockwise widdershins as is recommended in the Sinister tradition after I had clearly stated my intentions in regard to myself. Interestingly, I felt compelled to bow north and ask for Hecate to keep me protected in her dark shroud and to send me her hounds to guide me when the moment would be appropriate. I then left the room and went to get something to eat immediately.
It should be noted that strange occurrences happened in my room after this ritual and this, all throughout the night. Odd movements, cold breeze, empty text messages on the cellphone, computer closing and opening by itself and weird sounds were heard many times…
Finally, I also want to add that there is nothing else to add to this ritual, no possible conclusion(s), at least, not yet since it does not represent a specific work with a specific entity, concept or archetype. It felt more like a session of automatic writing and I am still waiting for the revelations to manifest themselves. I would rather keep it this way and not try to force any meaning(s) out of it. After all, change is inexorable and I am ready to let the mask drop, so the cycle of aging and rebirthing can continue forevermore. Perhaps this is what Richard Moult had in mind when he painted this magnificent card.
-Beldam, 128 yf