That which follows hubris; the consequence of attempting to escape that which is ill-fated by Destiny. Personal destruction from self-delusion and the cessation of self-evolution. Energy vortex in the Abyss. The striping away of the self-image that, if successful, will produce a genuine Master/Mistress; confronting the Chaos within and without.
This ritual (Along with Binan Ath) was performed a long time ago or during a special event and interestingly, I did not take any notes during or after the ritual itself. Why such a thing happened, I do not remember but it has and I must now write this article by memory alone…
It was a casual, dark night. I had prepared myself accordingly for an entire week as is usual and had spent much time in the nearby graveyard. Just the day before, me and a few others had attempted a Ouiji board session amongst the tomb which was a perfect introduction for the specific mindset I was seeking. I had also collected a bit of fresh grave dirt which I kept for the ritual in a sealed glass container…
- Crystal Tetrahedron.
- Tarot Deck.
- Nythra Sigil.
- The sinister tradition book.
- Black Candles.
- Black Onyx.
- Bones & Rotten Meat.
- Graveyard Dirt.
The procedure was simple, I was lying in the dark in the ‘dead’ position, breathing deeply. My altar was animated by my candles and incense I had just bought from a local and rural boutique that had opened in my village. In my left hand, was my black onyx and at the front of the altar, I had left an offering of rotten meat and bones. The stench had filled the room already and dark music was playing with maximum vibrations. My right hand was laying in a plastic box where I had transferred the grave dirt and I was imagining that ghastly energies were being channeled from that box, up to my self and then finally reaching the Onyx.
I remember that this ritual was primarily about confronting fears and accepting my wyrd as it was and would be. Over time, the meditation derived and I explored certain specific concepts and old visualization techniques I had used in my Luciferian years. I would picture myself at the bottom of a well, in cold and stagnant water, unable to go back up and slowly freezing. I would focus on breathing and make one with such a situation. I would then mentally travel to another plane, where I am laying down in an old abandoned house like I explored many. I had just poured a deadly poison in my mind and I would focus my attention on every limbs becoming numb, the fresh blows of the wind, penetrating through this old house. When my soul would exit my body in this realm, I would then picture myself in a dark forest, mutilating my body with a sharp knife until the blood loss consumes me. This process of visualization would be endured until a certain transmutation or ecstasy would be felt. Changing darkness into light, altering the inner alchemy.
At some point, I became lost in a trance and awoke much later in the night, after most candles were consumed. I would then play with my tarot card, as is usual at the end of my rituals and clean my ritualistic area. The box filled with grave dirt would go just under my bed and the rotten meat was to stay there until the morning.
I went to bed, reading the Nythra poem while looking at the sigil with fascination. For the following nights, I had dreams of a young girl in a coffin or lost in a labyrinth. She was singing, always facing the walls and when I would get closer, she would slowly pivot toward where I was and would show a pale visage with deep dark eyes and a mouth filled with razor teeth’s. I would awake in sweat, still hearing her scream in echoes. Like Khtunae, the channeling of Nythra was extremely primal and yet, it seemed to awake a certain strength from deep within. Something that was singing in the unconscious, as in the hope of being heard.
-Beldam, 128 yf