Something has Changed


I have lost my appetite for discourses, for this continual obsession with ‘wording’ and this unstoppable craving for definitions. The long list of dilemmas that kept me awake at night in my teenage years has become nothing but a dull, distant whisper. I sometimes sit at my desk and aim to write as I used to but only poetry comes about in the best of times, relieving me temporarily and pulling me closer toward all the beauty that my heart contains and seeks to make manifest in the world. This beauty no longer becomes tangible in words or the theoretical pirouettes of the mind but rather, in a practical, mutually shared experience of all those things that existence has to offer.

It is not exclusive to what makes us feel good, but also how we, human beings, have the capacity to transmute our hardships into lessons and overcome our fears, our uncertainties and alter ourselves into something entirely different when mind and matter are consciously oriented toward such a purpose. I currently espouse no philosophy, no one true way or specific religion. I simply lend my ear to the subtle calling of my wyrd and go about as a child would, seizing opportunities, discovering new avenues that challenge how I feel, how I think and how I perceive. I am not comforted by any truths, any thoughts extracted from ancient traditions or any sort of human faith. I am simply a collector of memories and I am inspired by what impacted me in those days gone and use such inspirations to forge my future. There is no secrets, no particularities, just an openness, an urge to go ever forward and go beyond my very own personal frontiers.

I no longer see the world separated by dualistic terms but rather, as a cosmic ensemble of which we are taking a part of for a time and for reasons unknown. My spiritual journey has led me to discover that abstractions are the cause of hubris in man and that love, compassion, temperance, friendship and loyalty, whatever these words truly mean, are the most important elements of our existence and require no specific attributes outside of what is felt through them. They are part of our physis, our essence as empathically capable beings and instead of disconnecting ourselves from such attributes, we should find ways to harvest them. I believe that giving up on this incessant necessity for language is one way to do so, thus restoring some sort of supra-personal understanding, some appreciation for all those unnameable acausal elements that are beyond us, beyond our flawed perception. Thus, we understand how we are nothing but a microscopic spec of dust in the cosmos and we also understand how futile it is for us as a specie, to take ourselves so seriously. In the light of such realisations, I can only slowly but surely withdraw into silence and watch as a passenger would all those fruitless attempt to ‘be right’, to ‘dominate’ others via the convulsions of language and semantics.

What rather makes my soul shiver are the laughter’s near the river during the twilight walks, the long conversations in the golden fields while birds are flying and chirping all around us. I am enlivened after the ascent of a mountain and when I see this infinite horizon of clouds or after a morning session where me and my comrades have been sparing for a few hours. I would exchange all the words in the world for those simple moments where we just enjoyed an ice cream outside, watching the sky turn from blue to purple and than to a dark crimson palette of colors or when we kissed under the bridge, listening to the cars come and go. I also vividly remember my short visits to the monastery where I would lay in the orchard with my pack of wild dogs and meditate for hours on end or when I would walk all day long during the compostelle trail in France and enjoy those simple things, so easily taken for granted.

Those fleeting moments are the true wealth of our existence and it should be a duty for all of us to fight as hard and for as long as we can so we push ourselves toward such moments and not wait for them to come and go as a breeze would. We have the capacity to create such opportunities, to put aside our fears, our limitations and go beyond what is known. Time is a currency, stop waiting and expecting life to hand over everything to you. Fight and struggle to make your dreams realities and collect those precious memories as if they were the greatest rarities in the world. When I close my eyes and I look deep inside of my heart, I am submerged by all this beauty, all those moments pasts that now contribute to forge who I am in the present. When I bathe in the current of my reminiscences, the will for me to write and corrupt through words such magic vanishes altogether. While I would never compare my paths to the path of someone else, I like to believe that I am at peace, possibly the same way Richard Moult Is at peace when he paints his stunning and mystical pieces of Tarot(s) or When David Myatt walks in those landscapes so unique to England.

Hence why I no longer write, I live instead. My life is the most vibrant ritual, the most beautiful poem, the most unique emanation that there is and no convulsions of the human vocabulary can make sense of how numinous and wyrdful our temporary earthly manifestation is or can be. I have so much to do and so little time, I want to see, I want to achieve, I want to be. 


I am neither the scars that marked my heart in those days gone,

Nor the idyllic possibilities of my unrevealed future.


The mind is only ever partially the architect of what’s to come,

And the actions undertaken causally are never up to par with what was initially fantasized,


And it is in-between those two melding currents,

That manifest itself what we so casually call: The human experience.

You just have to let-go.






Time passes by,

Unaware as to why,

We live,

We age,

And then we die.


Just like the moon,

Graciously sails toward crimson skies,

So do we,

Journey wyrdfully,

Until the colors in our eyes,

Are extinguished delicately,

Like the flame of a candle would be.


We then ascend peacefully,

Experiencing once more through memory,

All the Smiles,

The Kisses,

The Joy,

The Vows…


There is also the shivering of the leaves in the oak trees,

And a flock of birds flying ever forward,

Toward an horizon so exalted in colors,

That the sea below is no longer so,

And the sun, thrones vividly,

Amidst an infinite veil of glowing stars.

And there are those treasures,

Buried deep within the confines of the mind

Remembered once more…


Your soft, pristine hands,

That I held for hours,

The sound of your voice,

Crystalline and yet so elegant.

Or those walks in the ancients woodlands,

Where we embraced,

Until shooting stars suffused high above…



Our lack of control,

Should be our greatest reason for humility.


And power we have very little,

If only the faculty to choose,

To live for love,

For what is fair and pure,


Until the abyss is crossed,

And immortality embraced,

Through Cosmic awareness.


With all that is numinous,

Past, present, future,

United forever in the center,

Of the Spiral.









The Sinister Feminine And Homo Hubris

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Important Notice(s): This article was originally posted by ‘Wyrdsister’ on It is shared here out of sheer agreement with what is expressed in this article and how even such individuals abounds outside of the occult spheres. It was also shared because of the ensemble of references to the importance of the alchemical aspect of the Order of Nine Angles.

Masculous And Muliebral

The Sinister Feminine And Homo Hubris

As apprehended by those who have ventured along the Seven Fold Way of the Order of Nine Angles (O9A, ONA) to at least the stage of Internal Adept, and by those who because of their physis feel the ‘sinisterly-numinous’ aesthetic, one of the fundamental problems of the modern Western Left Hand Path in general and of modern ‘Satanism’ in particular is that of Homo Hubris. As noted in one text which is recommended reading for aspirant Adepts, the species Homo Hubris is

             “distinguished by their profane lack of numinous balance, by a lack of knowing of and feeling for the numinous; by a personal arrogance, by a lack of manners, and by that lack of respect for anything other than strength/power and/or their own gratification.” {1}

This profane lack of numinous balance is most manifest in the principles – adopted by modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ – of “might is right” and of “total satisfaction of the ego”.

In contrast, one of the aims of the Occult anados that is the O9A Seven Fold Way is for the initiate to personally experience – through exoteric and esoteric deeds – both what has been described as ‘the sinister’ and what has been described as ‘the numinous’ and, because of such experience, to meld them together in order to transcend beyond them. The experiences required in order to do this include the Rite of Internal Adept where the candidate lives alone – for three or six months – in primitive conditions in the wilderness. Which Rite has as its aim the development in the individual of empathy {2} and which empathy is a manifestation of the muliebral and thus in direct contrast to the masculous principles adopted by modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’. {3}

For the O9A has

             “an initiated – esoteric – apprehension of the raison d’etre of alchemy: of ourselves as having, in essence, both a masculous and a muliebral physis, and which initially undivided physis (sans denotatum, and thus the artificial, hubriatic, division between masculous and muliebral) is now, as in the past it was for the majority, lost; with alchemy anciently understood and practised by many alchemists as a means whereby we might re-discover our natural, and balanced, human physis.” {4}

This esoteric apprehension is evident in some ancient texts, such as the ‘Pymander’ text from the Corpus Hermeticum:

             “Now listen to the rest of the explanation you asked to hear. When the cycle was fulfilled, the connexions between all things were, by the deliberations of theos, unfastened. Living beings – all male-and-female then – were, including humans, rent asunder thus bringing into being portions that were masculous with the others muliebral.” {5}

Which is why – in contrast to the patriarchal, masculous, ethos which has dominated the world, East and West, for millennia, of which Levey-type ‘satanism’ is but one recent manifestation – the esoteric tradition of the O9A is of ἀρρενόθηλυς: of balancing the masculous with the muliebral through pathei-mathos both esoteric and exoteric.

Misunderstanding The Sinister Feminine

Given the foregoing overview of O9A esoteric theory and praxis it is hardly surprising that modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ are and have been upset by and annoyed with – and keep trying to discredit – the O9A especially given the O9A claim that the O9A is Satanist and that Howard Stanton Levey was a plagiarist, a charlatan, and an example of Homo Hubris: that is, in common parlance, he was plebeian.

It is also hardly surprising that modern Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ and other modern Occultists – weaned on Magian, kabbalistic inspired, ‘sorcery’ – have misunderstood what the O9A mean by ‘the sinister feminine’, emanation as that archetype {6} is of the three lower spheres (nexions) on the O9A’s seven-fold Tree of Wyrd, and thus redolent as it is of the esoteric and exoteric pathei-mathos of those three lower spheres. That is, redolent of and expressing what, for the individual initiate, is some years before The Rite of Internal Adept and long before (usually at least a decade before) The Rite Of The Abyss with its lunar month of solitary chthonic living. {7}

Thus, in the O9A system ‘the sinister feminine’ is an archetype to be lived, experientially by a woman, or experienced experientially by a man, as a noviciate pathei-mathos; just as O9A Satanism (as manifest in texts such as The Black Book of Satan and in the O9A archetypes of Satan and Baphomet) is a necessary noviciate pathei-mathos, to be lived, experienced, learned from: a beginning of the decades-long anados that is the O9A Seven Fold Way.

Which is why archetypal representations of the sinister feminine – be they fictional, or artistic (as in Tarot images) or presenced through rites and ceremonies of sorcery, or lived or experienced through ‘insight roles’ – are just archetypal representations germane to those three lower spheres and thus to individual pathei-mathos. They are not, and never have been, the raison d’être of the ONA itself, for that raison d’être is the Seven Fold Way and thus the individuals who, through undertaking that anados, meld the sinister with the numinous (the masculous with the muliebral) and thus develop their own unique weltanschauung.

        Of course, we do not expect most Levey-inspired self-described ‘satanists’ – weaned on gratifying their ego – nor most modern Occultists – weaned on Magian ‘sorcery’ – to apprehend either (a) the Aeonic intent behind such O9A archetypes, or (b) the difference, esoterically and exoterically, between (i) the archetypal presencing – the nexion – that is the O9A with its Seven Fold Way, and (ii) the archetypal presencings – the nexions – that form the particular spheres which are encompassed by the nexion that is the Seven Fold Way. But, as we know from our own experience, one or two might over the years so apprehend to perchance begin their own quest along the Seven Fold Way.

Rachael Stirling
2017 ev


{1} The Mythos of Vindex.
{2} This aim was spelled out in early – 1970s to 1980s – ONA texts, one of which was published in the 1980s Occult zine Nox and subsequently included in the book The Infernal Texts: Nox & Liber Koth (Falcon Publications, 1997).
{3} The differences are outlined in the book The Joy Of The Sinister. In particular in the three chapters titled (i) The De-Evolutionary Nature of Might is Right, and (ii) The Gentleman’s – and Noble Ladies – Brief Guide to The Dark Arts, and (iii) Concerning Culling as Art.
{4} See the O9A text Alchemy And The Sinisterly-Numinous Tradition.
{5} Poemandres, as translated by DW Myatt. Masculous has been described as referring to:
“the abilities and qualities that are conventionally and historically associated with men, such as competitiveness, aggression, a certain harshness, the desire to organize/control, and a desire for adventure and/or for conflict/war/violence/competition over and above personal love and culture.”

Muliebral has been described as referring to:
“those positive traits, abilities, and qualities that are conventionally and historically associated with women, such as empathy, sensitivity, gentleness, compassion, and a desire to love and be loved over and above a desire for conflict/adventure/war.”

{6} In O9A esotericism, an archetype is defined as “a particular causal presencing of a certain acausal energy and is thus akin to a type of acausal living being in the causal, and thus in the psyche; it is born (or can be created, by magickal means), its lives, and then it ‘dies’ (ceases to be present, presenced) in the causal (i.e. its energy in the causal ceases).”

{7} The text The Seven Fold Way Of The Order Of Nine Angles: A Modern Practical Guide provides a summary of both those rites.

-Beldam, 128 yf

Plurality & Exaltation

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I noticed for a long time a very common error of the human perspective when it comes to our many activities (both in the functional and the intellectual spheres). As previously observed in a plethora of other articles, it is clear that human beings have the natural tendency to think and analyze in a very linear pattern. Our ways of harmonizing everything into mentally projected groups or categories is a constant activity of the mind.

And so: Cat ≈ Tiger, Computer ≈ Virtual, Cold ≈ Temperature (…)

The pendulum swings between those established opposites of what we meticulously defined. Unfortunately, what analytical philosophy teaches us is that it works solely for functionalities… Things that are not overly abstract. For example, we understand clearly that an apple is a fruit and that it can be eaten. There is nothing remotely abstract about such an information and even individuals who do not speak the same language as you, will have a good idea of what your desires or intentions are.

No, the real problem is when we try to apply the same linearity to what is beyond the grasp of language, hence why philosophy in and of itself, is rightly described as an ‘activity’ by Socrate. As Wittgenstein mentioned before, our real philosophical problems have always originated from us, attempting to say the unsayable…

The real danger is  that we still force our ways through concepts and try to harmonize them with the tools of ignorance.

What is love:

Category 1: Love ≈ God (Religious)

Category 2: Love ≈ A signal from the brain. (Scientific)

Category 3: Love ≈ A willful Interaction between two beings. (Social)

Result: Love changes from one category to the other and there is no definite answer but the one we give it, in accord with our chosen category or mixture of categories.

And so the fatal error of perspective is that we tend to lose sight of the multitudinous, of plurality. Human being and nature as a whole is not a singularly pieced entity. Our needs, our desires, our condition, our explorations, our understanding, our ambitions are always morphing themselves, every day, every hours, every seconds.

As someone that follows the Seven-Fold-Way and more precisely, the Numinous Way, I admit that I am addicted to life. I see no contradiction in seeking to better myself both through what is vulgarly termed as ‘Dark’ and ‘Light’ (as long as it does not hinder the peregrination of others, for evolution, in some ways, is also an abstraction which is dependant on specific categories and language)… There is yet again, a plurality of experiences that our ‘Wyrd’ offers us, through a very pluralistic echo of time(s) which then impact us in a plurality of ways, making our soul shiver with what I like to believe to be a new, cosmic understanding.

Accepting and coming at peace with this principle means you have achieved the end of duality and that you can take and grow whatever is required of the experiences you will harvest/encounter throughout your life without denoting or classifying them as ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ but rather, simply part of the flow of your terrestrial existence. Nothing is separated, everything becomes whole. You are not here to harmonize Physis through language and play God with what ‘X’ is and what ‘Y’ should be. You are here to be part of this momentary cosmic effluvium and bite right into the apple. Eden opened, Eden closed, what do we care? We are here for the walk anyway and while walking, there is pain and there is bliss.

A Satanist, in essence, is someone that is and should be addicted to whatever existence has to offer, beyond what is vulgarly harmonized by language and beyond the selfish needs and desires that are honourless. No words can come to terms with what a wyrdful life truly is.

When this, along with the continuous actions of plurality and the dangers of selfishness (hubris) is realized, there can only be Exaltation and a letting-go. No more struggle to understand, to name or to control…

Simply a desire to be, with everything that is implied by being.

“So many memories which slowly fade as bright colour exposed to Sun: as the
bright checks of my Tweed cap have slowly faded over the years, unrenewed
as the greens of the grass, the bush, the tree, become renewed each year,
through Spring. Only memories, as of Fran; to be savoured but perhaps now
not too much to be dwelt upon in almost unbearable sadness, for thus is – for
thus has the – a type of balance returned; that balance, that dwelling in
immediacy, which I from learning feel and know is the essence of wu-wei.

This is a change within me, regarding the life and death of Fran, and the life
and death of Sue; regarding my own diverse journeys and explorations. A
change toward a being-settled that has partly arisen from at last forsaking
abstractions and partly from accepting that it is immediacy and remembrance
of memories which convey the only correct meaning we human beings have or
can find and which is numinous. No projection, thus, of an abstractive
life-beyond this mortal life; no need for a religious type of faith; no battle or
desire to strive to be in accord with any abstraction; and even no need to
believe in, or even un-numinously desire, some-thing.

No depth of unfathomable wordless sadness to bring that ultimate life-ending despair such as I assume Fran felt in the last hours of her own mortal living.
For there is only the bright Sun; the slight breeze in bush and tree; the
verdant, living, green of grass; the yellow Buttercups that are profusely
sprinkled there in the old Orchard of old Apple trees whose lower branches
have been windfallen, or become broken with age, or stripped of bark by the
two Goats who roam there, where Chickens range, food-seeking. Only the
passing billowing fair-weather white Cumulus clouds below the sky-blue of
Earth’s earthly mortal life.

My decades long mistake of unbalanced stupidity has been to be un-rooted; to
be of unnatural uneedful haste. To cease to dwell within each immediacy of
each moment. To be swayed by, persuaded by, in thrall to – to even love –
un-numinous and thus un-ethical abstractions. To be thus that which we
human beings have become: a stage between animal – talking – and
compassionate, empathic being aware of and treasuring each small pulse of
life that lives near, within, us because there is no separation unless we in
hubris and by abstraction create such separation.
Thus are we now but Homo Hubris, struggling, halting, wasting ourselves and
all of Life around us; infected now with the virus of abstractions so that, upon
this living Earth, we – in our new de-evolution – despoil, disrupt, destroy the
Life that is our Life and the genesis of The Numinous, often in the name of
that un-ethical abstraction called “progress”. And yet we have a cure for our
millennia-long debilitating sickness; have always had a cure, although so many
for so long, as I, have failed in our blind stupidity to see it.
So, this is all that there is: only the bright Sun; the slight breeze in bush and
tree; the verdant, living, green of grass; the yellow Buttercups that are
profusely sprinkled here where, now, The Numinous lives, on another
beautifully warm and Sunny day, bright with light remembered…”

-David Myatt, Almost Mid-Summer

-Beldam, 128 yf


Via Podiensis

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Life is the greatest ritual that there is and it is up to each and everyone of us to do what we can to have no regrets when we lay in the coffin. To decapitate our fears and remove them from their illusory roots. To go beyond our limits and be reborn anew, perpetually until our legs, our body, becomes tired like the bark of an old oak and our mind, serene like the waves of the ocean at dawn…

I understand better and better what David Myatt means when he says that every human beings are living according to their very own species of time. Certain experiences -it seems- are beyond the considerations of time and the mundane expectations of others or even, of yourself. You prepare mentally and try to know what to expect, encouraged by the descriptions or previous experiences of others but it ends up to be so different and beyond control. Some people walking the pilgrim trail were formal when describing their transformation but some others, were hardly sure at all of what they were seeking. Some of them are changed after a few days, some others after a few weeks and some others after a year of walking. Some are changed by a sight, a song, a moment or a lover they met during the walk, some by the chants in a cathedral, some by a certain village where certain ancient ways of life, especially Christian ones are still common. Everyone is altered in a very particular way, beyond the understanding of others. It is something intimate, something personal that no one can touch…

My ten days of walk did change me tremendously and brought to light certain things I would have never expected, namely my passion for my loved one and how I would have wished her to be there with me and see what I was seeing and experience what I was experiencing. I was also torn between hardship and the hard earned beauties of nature that were surrounding me, haunting me at every turn. Windy mountains, barren landscapes, medieval villages, stone walls that I imagined only in Scotland or England, fields of sheep’s and cows or even dense and sinister forests where millennial Celtic stones were still standing. Stones we were told, had been used for ceremonial rituals and sacrifices ages ago by northern warriors. The numinosity and the grandeur of the churches were present at every villages and yet, equally as strong were stories such as the ‘Beast of Gevaudan’, legends of werewolves and demonic creatures lurking in the forests along with witches.

On a more personal and practical level, I am very proud of what I accomplished since I am definitively not a trained hiker and was equipped terribly badly for this experience. My bag was not suited for hikes, I had to carry my sleeping bag for six hours a day, everyday and my bag was too heavy, so much so that I had to get rid of certain items the first day. My right foot is also plagued by mycosis which I thought would not bother me at all but led me to have a lot of bulbs all around and make my progress harder. Still, we walked for eight days with an emphasis on visiting since we did not want to miss anything or skip through. We walked over 100km in total, sometimes doing more, sometimes doing less. What I discovered is that you have to follow your own rhythm. Walking with other people is extremely pleasant and I enjoyed every seconds of it but you are actually making it harder for yourself. The last day of walk, I went alone to really challenge myself and it is actually the only day I did not feel tired or did not feel my bulbs on my foot. I walked 16 km in two hours only which is quite an accomplishment considering my equipment and the state of my toes. It was an ecstatic walk and strangely, even though I did it very quickly and surpassed myself, I felt full of vitality and not tired one bit. At the top of the mountains, I would sing continuously ‘Agios O Baphomet’.

On a purely physical level, I kept thinking about the following:

The intention of such techniques, challenges, and experiences, is to provide the candidate with structured, formative, life-changing, experiences – to harshly test them, to begin the process that fundamentally changes (and evolves) their character, developes a self-knowing and certain esoteric abilities and skills, moves them toward individuation, or which destroys/defeats them and thus reveals them as unsuitable – physically, mentally, and in occult terms – for the O9A.  

-The Complete Guide To The Order of Nine Angles 

Interestingly, I also noticed how many people miss the point of such trails. They remain attached to language, to numbers and useless arguments for hours instead of taking the time to attune with themselves. To go within. I personally, felt like I was at the monastery but more challenged, more confronted to what I really was and how I evaluate myself on a day-to-day basis but most important of all, I felt that the true importance of such experiences is also to be shared with the ones you love. In my free time, I would practice drawing and read poetry or walk around in the villages, appreciating the sun, slowly calcinating my skin or simply watching the birds flying to their nests in the rocks of the ancient buildings. I could also stay for long periods in the deserted churches or cathedrals since in the afternoon, most of the population is sleeping.

I will conclude with what is most evident, what has been evident for me for a few years now and what continues to be most evident in various, numinous ways: Love, compassion and the authentic effort to wisdom, to Lapis Philosophicus is a mandatory process of the human experience. Language, once again, is often, far too often a trap where people get caught on for a million of different reasons. What is important, what is beautiful and simple is not held in any way, shape or form by language. At best, language can scratch these things but never seize them firmly and present them as they are.

Words, arguments, language, and the like, are of the mind; whereas in the state that has just been referred to, there, language has no place. This body respects whatever anyone may say, because each person’s point of view depends on the particular stairway by which he ascends. Whatever idea may be held – be it on a high or low level – it is all the same, so far as this body is concerned.

Furthermore, it is quite certain that Reality is beyond speech and thought Only that which can be expressed in words is being said.

But what cannot be put into language, is indeed That which IS.

-Words of Sri Ananda Mayi.

Do not be afraid to ascend according to YOUR species of time, in accord with what YOUR heart tells you. Anything else is un-spiritual and a product of the ego.


-Beldam, 128 yf



The Hermit Ritual (Sauroctonos)

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Withdrawal and a revealing; the lying between two stages of alchemical Change. Intimations of the Abyss. The culmination on a personal level of energies created by Change – the surfacing of individual factors hitherto only known on an unconscious level. A process of dis-covery that will lead to insight, (further) knowledge of wyrd; or madness, death.

We drove two hours, through rain and countryside to finally reach our destination: ‘Sainte-Clotilde-de-Horton’ Asylum. Apparently one of the most haunted area in Quebec, which is the source of many legends and tales of horrors in the region. Many dark things were done to the patients in this institution through the years, until it became abandoned. The owner and guardian, passionate about ghost hunting, decided to leave it standing and he goes there regularly to camp and ‘channel’ with the many entities that still wander the desolated corridors.

When we arrived, he came to talk with us for a little while and he prepared us exactly for what we would experience inside: Cold drafts, electronic apparels failures, odd sounds at the third and fourth floors.

Saying that it is exactly what happened is an understatement. Upon entering, we were met with the kind of cold I have only ever experienced in deeply haunted area. It was a cold day outside and it was far colder inside. When stepping in, my friend’s ‘Go-Pro’ dropped dead instantaneously. We explored the first floor for a while which it seemed, was where the dirty experiments happened on the helpless. Then we climbed to the second floor and that is when we started feeling dizzy and unwell, especially in the stairs. A sense of dread and weight fell upon us like it happens in those kind of areas.

We then went to the third and fourth floor and did some martial arts for a while. There were windows all around, giving us a beautiful sight of the courtyard and the large forest. We felt completely out of place, in a different dimension and yet, surrounded, observed by some unseen forces, both cheerful and sad. In the building, I also discovered a gloomy doll which I decided to keep as a ritualistic tool.

I then went up to the fourth floor and separated from my friends for a moment to bring my emotions to the peak. Everything felt so right, so natural, even though it had been prepared in details a few days prior.

Sacred Tools:

  • The Order of Nine Angles Sigil
  • The Tree of Wyrd Sigil
  • Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron
  • Haunted Doll
  • Sauroctonos Sigil

I kneeled close to a window and placed my three sigils to the ground along with my Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron and the doll. I close my eyes, bathed in the sunlight and the cold wind and started visualizing the sigil of Sauroctonos in my mind. I then took the time to read the poem many times and felt ecstatic. So much so that my entire body was electrified with Goosebumps.

I was staring at the doll, thinking about all the energies which were still a part of this building, of this area. This feeling was fortified even more by the fact that a few droplets of water had fallen on the doll’s head and were flowing down her eyes and cheeks. I repeated outloud:

“Faces are removed and she sits in the stone house unheard.”

I then directed all my thoughts toward my Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron. I walked with it in my hands until we decided it was time to leave. We discussed some more with the owner and then we departed with a sense of accomplishment and joy. We drove through the countryside, enjoying the last rays of the sun and then the starry night.

Coming back home, I rediscovered loneliness and pondered for an hour or two in my room. I felt feverish and tired and yet, enervated. I placed the doll in my altar and washed my clothes but not my body. I wanted to sleep in this energy, in this disturbed aura that I felt, I had brought home with me.

Sauroctonos effectively has the power to awaken the subconscious, especially when channeled in such an area and I must admit that since I went to the monastery, I kept feeling that I was in-between two stages. While exploring the many gloomy rooms, I felt I was receiving confirmation as if I was unlocking certain hidden areas of my character. I also felt deeply inspired by the fact that our adventure at the asylum was an introduction to my upcoming ten days pilgrim walk in France which will happen in roughly a month. Like I did the first time, I am certain that many more discoveries await in the European mountains.

Leaving this place, the last thing I remember were my sigils being moved around by the wind in the large room of the fourth floor. Going back down, we were amazed at how deathly cold it was.

It is immensely hard for me to explain what changes happened through me during this experience. So many different emotions were felt, so many realizations, so many influences. In all honesty, it was overwhelming but extremely satisfying and like everything truly meaningful, it will take me time and dreams to understand how wyrdful this whole ritual was.

-Beldam, 128 yf




Lunae and Solis Exaltio

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Important Notice(s): This article could be seen as the part two of my previous article; The Seven Spheres & Alchemy. As noted already, it is essential that the reader goes through the MSS entitled: ‘The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles’ for a better understanding of what is discussed here.

Beyond the ever-growing opinions of the followers (young & old) of the ways of the Order of Nine Angles, what remains perfectly clear is that following this path can only lead to μεταμορφόω both esoterically and exoterically. It is my opinion – yet again – that many are stuck in the appeal of the transgressive, in the quick rewards of world versions. They overlook the essential which is, in reality, beyond what is so commonly termed ‘light & dark’ (Sinister – Numinous).

Strangely, the theoretical informations leading to a rational understanding of this μεταμορφόω is abundant in the corpus of the Order of Nine Angles but words written or spoken are unable to stabilize the authentic pillar of knowledge. This pillar can only be cemented by praxis. Whether you are following your heart and instinct or you proceed with orthodoxy does not matter. What is necessary is that you make the water boil and you plunge in it.

The Seven-Fold-Way, the Star Game & The slow fluctuation of the being toward wordlessness are innovative but inspired by ancient influences:

“The O9A septenary system does indeed represent an older – pre-Hebrewesque – and Hellenic and genuinely hermetic occult tradition is gradually becoming increasing known outside of O9A circles, partly due to articles such as Perusing The Seven Fold Way: Historical Origins Of The Septenary System Of The Order of Nine Angles, partly due to Myatt’s translations of the Pymander and Ιερός Λόγος tractates of the ancient Corpus Hermeticum {2} – in which physis and a septenary system are mentioned several times – and partly due to his notes on the fourth tractate (Ἑρμοῦ πρὸς Τάτ ὁ κρατῆρ ἡ μονάς) in which notes {3} he pointed out the use of a septenary system by John Dee as described in Theorem XVIII of Dee’s 1564 work Monas Hieroglyphica,”

-The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

It is obviously, possible to find exterior sources which supports such claims. A good example of this lies in the ‘Secret Book of Artephius’ where it is beautifully stated that:

“Now this our second and living water is called “Azoth”, the water washing the laton viz. the body compounded of sol and luna by our first water; it is also called the soul of the dissolved bodies, which souls we have even now tied together, for the use of the wise philosopher. How precious then, and how great a thing is this water; for without it, the work could never be done or perfected; it is also called the “vase naturae”, the belly, the womb, the receptacle of the tincture, the earth, the nurse. It is the royal fountain in which the king and queen bathe themselves; and the mother must be put into and sealed up within the belly of her infant; and that is sol himself, who proceeded from her, and whom she brought forth; and therefore they have loved one another as mother and son, and are conjoined together, because they come from one and the same root, and are of the same substance and nature.”

-The Secret Book of Artephius

How more evident does it need to be? Lapis Philosophicus is within, we have all the necessary ingredients and by following a genuine spiritual path which is conform to our own φύσις, our own Άνοδος we can make Sol & Luna interwine, thus achieving a state of understanding closer to what is described in the Corpus Hermeticum (Ogdoadic Physis). That is, developing a way of apprehension of the world, of life and of the Cosmos that is more and more A-causal in nature, more genuinely esoteric and empathic.

“In the Pymander text, beyond the seven spheres of the anados there is the realm of ‘the ogdoadic physis’ – with particular forces and powers – and, beyond that, another realm; both described in relation to theos. As Myatt explains in his commentary on the Pymander text – in reference to section 26 and the Greek word δύναμις – these are quite distinct from the seven spheres: “δύναμις. Those forces, those particular powers – or, more precisely, that type (or those types) of being(s) or existence – that are not only beyond the septenary system but beyond the ogdoadic physis of those mortals who have, because of their journey (ἄνοδος) through the septenary system, achieved immortality. It is therefore easy to understand why some considered there were, or represented their understanding/insight by, ‘nine’ (seven plus two) fundamental cosmic emanations, or by nine realms or spheres – qv. the quote from Cicero {10} – the seven of the hebdomad, plus the one of the ‘ogdoadic physis’ mentioned here, plus the one (also mentioned here) of what is beyond even this ‘ogdoadic physis’.”

The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

Another common misconception about the final stage is that the practitioner achieves a state of self-deification and becomes a living god much like what is desired in modern Satanism. If you refer yourself to the Corpus Hermeticum, you can see that the transition toward the acausal is far more mystical and that there is no false promises but rather, a reuniting with Theos:

“According to the hermetic weltanschauung, as outlined by Poemandres here, all physis – the being, nature, character, of beings – their essence beyond the form/appearance their being is or assumes or is perceived as – re-presents (manifests, is an eikon of) theos. That is, the physis of beings can be considered not only as an emanation of theos but as re-presenting his Being, his essence. To recognize this, to recognize theos, to be in communion with theos, to return to theos, and thus become immortal, there is the way up (anados) through the seven spheres.”

The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

This getting closer to Theos through the Seven-Fold-Way should bring about a perspective detached from world versions, a perspective similar to the Numinous Way of David Myatt or the silent and natural way of the Rounwytha where the masculous and the muliebral have been understood as a separation of the undivided that can be restored to one single element. Seeing beyond words and seeking ἀρετή, one can only become conscious of the underlying unity of the κόσμος.

“A twofold worke doth make, but such a worke as doth admit division none at all”

-D.D. W. Bedman


Furthermore, this interaction between Sol & Luna are also essential to understand how the Star Game can be used to approach a new and more symbolical way to think. What is fascinating about this symbolical way to think is that you start projecting yourself consciously as a genuinely transformative being in the Aeonic and alchemical sense. Another way of formulating would be that you are consciously playing with causal transformations (Salt, Mercury, Sulphur) and while doing so, generating acausal alchemical alterations (Ego, Self, Spirit). According to the Monas Hieroglyphica of John Dee, the three elements join together when you have achieved Lapis Philosophicus (Lunae and Solis exaltio).


Here is a very interesting description of how those changes might be felt inwardly for the practitioner:

5“In the development of an individual as an individual develops naturally (i.e. without the aid of esoteric Arts) the ‘ego’ stage lasts from youth to middle-age: there is a need to establish an outward ‘role’ (in society/clan etc.), to find a ‘mate’ and propagate and to care for the physical/material needs/pleasures.

6The ‘self’ is the ‘stage’ beyond this – when there is an apprehension (often only intuitive outside of magick) of (a) the wyrd of the individual and (b) the separate existence of other individuals as those individuals are in themselves. Put simply, (b) involves a degree of ’empathy’. In the natural state, the self may evolve in ‘middle age’ or before – and often arises as a consequence of formative experiences (e.g. experience of war; personal loss; tragedy). In the natural state (because the unconscious has not been properly experienced and integrated) there is almost always a conflict with the ‘ego’ desires/pressures so that the insight, given by the self, is sometimes lost by the individual who returns to an ‘ego’ existence.

7The ‘wisdom’ of ‘old age’ is the gradual resolution of this conflict in favour of the self. In the past, the striving of an individual psyche for self-hood was often represented by myths and legends. Another term for ‘self-hood’ (the living of the role of the self- where the perception of ‘Time’ differs from that of the ‘ego’) is ‘individuation’. Esoterically, self- hood/individuation is Adeptship – but Adeptship implies much more than ‘individuation . It implies a conscious, rational understanding of one’s self and that of others as well as skill/mastery of esoteric Arts and techniques. It also implies a ‘cosmic Aeonic perspective’ to the Wyrd and the self. Individuation may be seen as a natural stage, achieved by the natural process of living (for some, at least) whereas Adeptship is a goal attained by following an esoteric Way; that is, which results from Initiation into the mysteries. As such, Adeptship contains individuation, but is greater than it.

DeeHieroglyph.gifAlso, individuation is itself only a stage: there are stages beyond even this: it is not the end of personal development […] Beyond, lies the ordeal of the Abyss and the birth of the O9A Master/Mistress – beyond them lies Immortality. Expressed simply, the ‘ego’ has no perception of acausal ‘time’ – but is unconsciously affected by acausal energies; the ‘self has some perception of acausal ‘time’ and is less affected by acausal energies. The Adept has learnt to control the personal acausal energies of the psyche (external/internal magick) – there still remains, however, ‘Aeonic’ energies which affect even the self. Control/mastery of these takes
the individual beyond the Abyss.”

-The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

All the informations are out there, written already. I am only here to attest to their veracity through my own experiences and interpretations.

Here, a fabulous conclusion for this chapter:

While the seven-fold way is clearly a modern anados which enshrines the ancient hermetic and rather mystical tradition of an individual seeking to attain immorality, it is also, and importantly, different. For it is a practical and a decidedly occult anados, a means of individual transformation and learning, involving as it does the use of sorcery; ordeals such as the grade ritual of internal adept where the candidate has to live alone in wilderness isolation for around three months; and a guided – an initiatory – exploration of the supernatural realms (or archetypal realms, depending on one’s
perspective) part of which involves working with Tarot images and evoking ‘supernatural’ (or archetypal) forms termed ‘the dark gods’. There is therefore, as a study of Naos makes clear, a melding of ancient traditions – occult, alchemical, hermetic, mystical – with newer esoteric, occult, techniques such as The Star Game and Esoteric Chant.

The Hermetic Order of Nine Angles.

-Beldam, 128 yf


The Philosophical and Moral Problems of National-Socialism

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The Philosophical and Moral Problems of National-Socialism

Important notice(s): Considering how the world version (abstraction) of National Socialism remains an omnipresent stratum of the Order of Nine Angles and that many Niners adopt such an abstraction for Insight Roles or their Aeonic perspective/workings, it felt necessary to post this fabulous article from David Myatt. For I have been and I am still sometimes entangled in the tempting idealization of this abstraction and the revisionism that is now being felt (mainly in the west) in regard to the holocaust… Since perhaps two years, I naturally became ‘apolotical’ for all the good reasons and removed myself from those dangerous world versions. David Myatt, once again, shared all the necessary pontifications to realize on a personal level how such associations are not essential and can even be detrimental to the quest for Lapis Philosophicus. Through sharing it here, I hope to stimulate the most likely already existing doubts that exist in the heart of many concerning abstractions or ‘acquaint’ some others to such possibilities.

-Beldam, 128 yf



The Snake is shedding it’s skin,

The Mad man is circling the Asylum.


Wyrd ever-changing,

Is ἔρως and Πόλεμος,

Colliding and suffusing,

Into λόγος.


But λόγος sometimes fails,

And Love is disturbed,

As if betaken by some unseen spell,

And so οὐσία is withering,

Because of δόξα, because of λόγος,

Because of the absurd…


ὕϐρις, ἔρις, harming Δίκη,

And when Δίκη no longer has eyes to see,

Sol & Luna through λόγος failure(s),

Once more divide,

From their alchemical romance.


For anything to unite properly,

Make an offering of milk and honey under a tree,

And chant relentlessly to Ἁρμονία and ἀρετή,

Only through such seeking,

Can ἔρως and Πόλεμος,

Dance again together in unification.


Once more restoring οὐσία,

Healing love,

Tempering ὕϐρις,

Tempering λόγος,

Realizing Wyrd.


For love is κόσμος

And κόσμος is θεός.


The High Priestess Ritual (Mactoron)

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Beyond the Abyss: the crossing over and Initiation (in terms of awareness whilst still partaking of a causal existence) into the Lands of the Dark Immortals. A self-awareness that transcends temporal understanding – becoming the essence; beyond opposites.

When I was at the monastery, I would spend hours in the nearby orchard, which was kilometers long. To reach this Orchard, you had to go through a magnificent forest called ‘The Pilgrim’s Path’. My favorite part of this strange, sometimes eerie zone was a natural arch, between two trees, surrounded by flowers and leafs. When crossed, this hidden arch would lead you to a plain where you could walk a few miles up, slowly ascending in the mountains behind the monastary and having the entire country-side behind you. After a while, you could reach a very unusual forest where the trees were perfectly aligned and dropping some weird and brownish little spikes. The ground was a real carpet of those things and it gave the surroundings a trully ominous and witchy atmosphere. Even the dogs would avoid this area but sometimes they would join me for a few moments before running away playfully…

Every day, be they sunny or rainy, I would go there with my Crystal Quartz and Naos and would re-read for many hours certain MSS that I wanted to explore again and this is where I felt an inner connection to Mactoron, something so powerful and imminent that I associated the entire monastery to this ‘Dark’ God.

  • Crystal Quartz Tetrahedron

  • The Sinister Tradition Handbook.

Interestingly, my whole journey at the monastery was extremely transformative and ‘spiralistic’ in nature. I would even dare to say that even though, there was no ritual properly speaking, it was my most important moment of self-awareness, my most conscious transition. Mactoron is all about spirals, all about transformation and the awareness of a new consciousness, a new apprehension of the world.

Brother Jacques told me that he felt I came because I had understood my thesis and anti-thesis and now, I had come to understand that it was time for my synthesis…

I now understand how appropriately true his words were and I know I am bound to go back to the monastery in the future but more as an appreciation of this realization, as a desire to return to this calm and numinous realm. This is the sacred moment where I felt, I really authentically transcended denotatum and reached a perspective beyond opposites. I felt what I can only describe as a tumultuous stillness and serenity both within and without. Similarly to the archetype of Mactoron, I felt, in all this silence, that my mind altered to an hermaphrodite state, a more cosmic and alchemical way of seeing that is closer to the natural unfolding of Physis.

This ritual is the proof that life can be magic just because of certain moments, of certain presencing that do not necessarily requires an altar, an athame or a dogmatic recitation. Just like when I worked at the farm or hiked in the mountains or travelled in France…

David Myatt poems are also perfect representations of this, for he often writes and read while sitting on the top of a hill, watching birds singing and flying or watching the sunset after a long day of work in the fields. Such moments generate pure magical emanations and are perhaps the most important, the most transformative. They are indeed, wyrdful moments and a wyrdful life requires you to seek this peace, this beauty as often as possible, not only to be elevated but also to find love and joy and to share those moments with loved ones.

-Beldam 128 yf